In the nick of time
by Lady Kiddymonster
Summary: An AU fic. Anthony gets very depressed after 3.3 and plans to commit suicide. Edith gets a sudden intuition and rushes to Locksley but can she save the man she loves and can they make things right?
1. Chapter 1 Valley of the shadow of death

**In the nick of time**

**An AU fic. Anthony gets very depressed after 3.3 and plans to commit suicide. Edith gets a sudden intuition and rushes to Locksley but can she save the man she loves and can they make things right?**

**A/N: I haven't finished with the First Lady Strallan yet but this one came to my mind so I wanted to write it and get it out there.**

**Chapter 1**

It was raining heavily outside; the skies were leaden. It could not have been less like that warm sunny day a few months before when he should have married.

He was convinced it had been the right thing to do; set that beautiful young lady free to find a husband who was not injured and nearer her age. It would not have been fair to tie her to him as a nursemaid. He loved her far too much for that and her family's lukewarm attitude towards him had clinched it. He, like Lord Grantham, had momentarily forgotten that any young eligible husband material was dead or worse maimed than he was.

He sighed deeply. The injury was hurting him today; it was ironic that he still could not use the damned limb yet it pained him.

He looked around the library; the well thumbed volumes which Edith loved to look at and from which he had read to her on countless occasions. The words had lost their beauty now she was not there. His soul was dark and he cried himself to sleep at night, glad no one was there to witness his pain. She was always his first thought on waking and his last before he fell into a tear induced sleep.

The fire was blazing but Anthony felt no warmth. He had lost weight and neglected himself; he seldom bothered to eat these days. The brightness in his blue eyes had faded and he felt a cold emptiness within him. His servants did their best; they had adored Lady Edith and really hoped that she would marry their master and make him happy but he invariably bit their heads off, snapping. They felt his pain at a level but knew they would never penetrate the depths of his gloom.

Tears streaked his face and his eyes had dark circles beneath them.

Now he went to the bureau drawer and took out his old service revolver. It was loaded. How easy it would be to put it to his head and pull the trigger. No more pain or sadness, no more torment over what he now knew was the wrong decision. He had wanted to write to or call on her but knew he would be turned away and no letter would ever reach her. She would get by without him; find someone better. The agony in his breast screamed at him. Why had he not said he loved her? He realised that she was everything he wanted or needed. She would have looked after him but for his inability to see that what he truly wanted was right in front of him. She had treated him like a man; not a cripple. She had lifted his spirits and made him feel good about himself. He had told her that she had given him back his life but then he had taken that life they could have had together away from them. He had no doubt she would have been left to cope alone; her family were relieved after all. She had no one to confide in and he knew that she would have cried too. She probably hated him and would never want to see him again which he was prepared to accept but right now no one hated Sir Anthony Strallan more than he hated himself.

He held the revolver in his good hand and looked at it. How easy it would be to blast his brains out. Only the fear of what that would do to Edith stopped him at that moment. His body shook with convulsive sobs so he laid the revolver down in case he accidentally fired it.

"Oh Edith, my darling," he wept, "I am so sorry. I love you so much and you were everything to me. I should have stood up for us but I didn't have the confidence. I failed and humiliated you so I don't deserve to live. I have tried to live without you but I simply can't. Even this beautiful room is cold and empty without you, the poetry we read is empty words without you; life is empty without you and I can't take it anymore. You were my last chance of happiness and my last chance of having an heir and I threw all that away out of a sense of duty, "the word tasted bitter and nasty in his mouth as bile rose into his throat.

The tears flowed unchecked down his ashen features and he wept bitterly. His servants could hear him and gave one another worried glances.

"Edith, I never deserved you and was never good enough for you. I was a coward so perhaps I will take the coward's way out. Oh god my darling, I wish you were here to stop me but I can't have that luxury. Please forgive me my beloved Edith; I hope that one day you will understand. You will hate me but no one hates me as much as I do right now."

Anthony Strallan poured himself a large glass of whisky and downed it in one mouthful. The strong spirits burnt his throat but he did not feel it. He felt nothing now; nothing but remorse and self loathing. Perhaps the revolver was the best option after all.

He lifted the revolver and pointed it at his left temple


	2. Chapter 2 Timely arrival

**Chapter 2**

Lady Edith Crawley lay in bed, drinking the tea that Anna had just brought her. Once again she had awoken to find her pillow soaked with her own salty tears. Once again Anthony had been her first thought on waking.

It had been nearly six months since he had walked out on their wedding; leaving both her heart and her dreams smashed to pieces on the floor of Downton church. But, contrary to what he was thinking, she had never hated him. She had forgiven him that day; she even thought she understood _why _he had done it. He had set her free to find a better man nearer to her own age; a man who could put both his arms around her. Like her father though he had momentarily forgotten that most young men had been killed in the bloody fields of Ypres and Flanders along the length of the Western Front; many of them young men that she and her sisters, Mary & Sybil, had grown up, or at least been acquainted, with.

Anthony's name had not been mentioned at Downton since that day but Edith sensed that it was not an attempt to spare her feelings. After all, on that day whose memory she had come to hate no one had thought to ask her if she was alright, how she felt about what had happened or about Anthony. Why hadn't she told him that she loved him; had done in fact since that afternoon before the War when he had taken her for a drive and subsequently to a concert. She had always loved him and had constantly tortured herself since her near wedding day about whether those three little words would have made any difference.

She remembered the times that they had spent together and her heart ached. She blinked away tears. She wanted to go and see him so she could at least tell him he was forgiven for she was sure he would be torturing himself. She had wanted to write to him but knew that she could not.

The worst thing was that Edith had no one she could confide in. There was no one who would understand and comfort her. Her family constantly pressed her to find other interests and ways to pass the time but Edith's time was so empty; she missed the war because then she had been constantly occupied but now the hours stretched inexorably ahead into days much the same as the one preceding. She felt more invisible and stifled than ever. Anthony had treated her like an adult and made her feel like she mattered. Whenever he had been in the room everything and everyone else had faded into insignificance.

Edith got up and drew the curtains; her heart sinking when she saw the rain and the leaden skies.

She dressed and went down to breakfast. She should have been eating breakfast in some Italian hotel with her husband beside her.

She blinked away tears; she and Anthony had shared so many happy moments. But there would be no more of those. Ever. She missed his lopsided grin, his beautiful smile and those lovely blue eyes which made her tingle all over every time he looked at her. She remembered the night before Mary and Matthew's wedding when Anthony had exposed Larry Grey for drugging Tom's drink. She had no doubt that, had it been Matthew's drink been spiked, then Anthony would have had her father's eternal gratitude. Little memories like this made her so proud of him. Cousin Isobel had been the only one of the family to show him any kindness or respect but even so Edith did not feel she could confide in her although Isobel was on the fringe of the family as much as she was. Why had they so taken against Anthony? He was far from boring; they had such lively conversations and he had a wit she had never encountered before as she chided him for his self deprecating humour. She missed him so much.

She was in the library after breakfast, trying desperately to keep her wandering mind settled on a book. The weather rendered the possibility of a walk near impossible. She tried hard to concentrate but found she just could not. She rang for Carson and asked for some coffee which he brought and she drank it while pacing the floor relentlessly. She felt a shiver run down her back although the room was warm; perhaps overly so owing to the blazing fire burning in the grate but, like Anthony, she could not feel its warmth; all she could feel was the desperation of loneliness and a chill feeling that something was very wrong.

"Anthony, I forgive you," she whispered into the air, "I forgive you because I know you acted in love and I regret never telling you that you mean everything to me because I have always loved you,"

She blinked away tears; wishing she had the chance to see him and ask his forgiveness for rushing him. He had said to her that evening, "Are you sure you don't want to wait?" Had he been trying to tell her that he would marry her but was not yet ready? If it had been a sign she had missed it. He had told her that she had given him back his life but weeks later he had taken away that life, that hope of a future for them as man and wife.

The feeling of dread intensified and she began to feel quite cold and unsettled. She looked out at the rain.

She ran to her room and grabbed her raincoat. She put it on and pulled the hood over her head. She slipped outside; everyone was busy. So much the better for that.

She got in the car and drove as fast as she dared in the direction of Locksley.

OO

In the library at Locksley it was as though time had stood still. Anthony stood, the gun still pointed at his temple by his own hand. How ridiculous was it that he had walked out of his own wedding but could not muster the energy to carry out the last cowardly act of his life.

He was not a coward though; the VC medal in his bedside cabinet drawer was proof of that but he did not feel worthy of it now. He had seen and felt far worse during the war but that was usually the result of someone else's actions. The pain and desperation he felt now was born out of his own actions.

He did not see the car draw up outside and he did not see Lady Edith get out. His mind was concentrating on trying to find the final motivation to pull that trigger; ending both his life and the existence of the Strallan line. He turned to face the door, still holding the revolver to his temple. He had believed it would be easy; wanted it to be more like he chided himself.

The butler was not sure if his master would not want to see Lady Edith but she persuaded him; convincing him that she had a terrible feeling about Anthony. They went together to the library and the butler pushed open the door.

Edith's face was ashen as she saw the man she loved standing in the middle of the room pointing a gun at his own head, his finger hovering over the trigger.

"Anthony, please god no," she had wanted to shout but the fear in her throat meant it came out barely louder than a croak, "Anthony, I love you,"

Edith.

He stared at her for a long moment; almost like he had seen a ghost or did not recognise his jilted bride but his hand holding the gun felt to his side and the revolver fell to the floor. Edith ran towards him and picked it up. She was not sure how one should handle guns but she handed it to the butler whispering, "Please lock this away, Johnson; for Sir Anthony's sake,"

"Very good Lady Edith," Johnson looked at the firearm with contempt. Those bloody things ruined lives and he left the room.

Anthony had been frozen by fear that Edith would accidentally fire and was relieved when she passed the gun to Johnson without mishap.

Anthony sank to his knees on the floor; weakened by lack of both nourishment and sleep. He put his head in his hands and his frail body shook with convulsive sobbing. Was he being tortured by nightmares? Had she come to do the job he had failed in? Had he heard those three little words pass her lips which must have been frozen almost numb from fear?

Edith crouched beside him and took him in her arms.


	3. Chapter 3 Care and compassion

**Chapter 3**

Anthony felt the weight of guilt and remorse pressing down on his shoulders. He was almost delirious with confusion and happiness. He was flushed but cold; he shivered and his limbs felt like lead.

Edith cradled him in her arms; shocked at how frail and thin he felt.

"Anthony my darling, what have I done to you? When was the last time you had a decent meal or night's sleep?"

"I don't know," his voice was strained, "I really can't remember. Since that day, "he had no need to specify further because they both knew what 'that day' meant,"I just stopped caring about myself. You did nothing wrong my darling. I was the one who had the arrogance to think I knew what was best for you. I actually thought I could live without you but soon found I couldn't. I suffered because I failed to see what I wanted when it was right in front of me. I humiliated you in front of your family and broke your heart, how can you forgive me for that?"

"I love you, Sir Anthony Strallan," she breathed. She looked into his eyes as her own filled with tears.

"I forgave you that day," she said softly, "I never hated you because I think I understand why you did it. You wanted to set me free but I never felt freer than I did every moment I was with you. You lit up any room you walked into and I would never have seen myself as tied to you because you let me be myself and love me for that."

"God, how I have suffered but I considered it just punishment for letting you slip through my fingers. I am so thankful that you turned up before I..."

He began to sob again and she held him tightly, stroking his back and kissing the top of his head.

"I need to look after you, Anthony my beloved; I want to take care of you and it is every woman's right to care for the man she loves. You are a war hero after all."

"I haven't lived up to that," he sighed, "I won a VC and I certainly have not lived up to that. What I did on that day and what I contemplated this morning are the actions of a coward, not a war hero."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," she said, "You are better than that"

"I really don't deserve you," he protested, "I am not good enough for you,"

"Anthony, how can a man who holds a VC claim not to be good enough for an Earl's daughter; albeit his second and least favourite? I will never love another man while you draw breath and that is God's honest truth."

"Oh Edith," he sighed deeply, "I have always loved you and I need you more than I have ever needed anyone. I was too weak to stand up to your family, to stand up for us,"

"That's in the past now," her lips gently brushed his, "You need to eat and to rest; build up your strength. I would like us to try again but we will go at your pace and only when you are ready will we go forward together. We can get to know each other and spend time together. If my family try to force me into choosing then they will lose."

He held her close with his good arm and she tingled in every pore.

"Lady Edith, I need to sleep but I want you by my side, however I have no desire to compromise your reputation. If a bed could be made up for me down here for the day and tonight I promise I shall go to bed and rest."

"That sounds a fair compromise. Should I call Dr Clarkson? He may be able to give you something to help you sleep."

"I certainly need that although I fear he may try to have me committed if he learns how you found me and what I was intending to do."

"We needn't tell him that; just that you have had trouble sleeping," she soothed.

"I've been having terrible nightmares," he breathed, "I dream that somehow you died that day and I dream that your family are after me trying to get me hanged for murder and sometimes it gets as far as the scaffold before I wake up in a cold sweat."

Edith shivered; seeing him like this was absolutely breaking her heart. She slipped her arms around him.

"One thing at a time," she said, "Firstly we'll get some blankets brought and make you a bed here, secondly we will get you some food and thirdly I shall telephone Dr Clarkson."

"Thank you my love," he breathed

He tried to get to his feet but his legs felt heavy and weak so he swayed. Edith grabbed hold of him and helped him to sit down. He noticed that she had no problem attending to him.

He rang for Johnson. When the butler arrived Anthony said.

"Johnson I need you to get me some pillows and blankets. I need to rest but without compromising Lady Edith's reputation."

"Very good Sir Anthony,"

"Then I need something light to eat and plenty of it."

"Very good Sir; there is chicken stew in the kitchen."

"That will do fine; please bring that and some buttered bread. Please bring enough for Lady Edith too."

"Very good, will that be all?"

"I want you to telephone Dr Clarkson; just tell him you are concerned about me. There is no need for now to mention...how I was when you showed Lady Edith in or even that she is here."

Johnson nodded, clearly understanding, and departed to carry out his master's orders.

OO

A maid brought in a quilt, pillow and a couple of blankets.

She quickly made up a bed on the longest sofa; taking her master's height into consideration.

"Thank you," Edith smiled at her and the maid smiled back.

"Look after him, my lady. I think you are the only person who can bring him back to us."

She left the room. Edith supported Anthony's arm so she could take off his sling and she removed his cravat and waistcoat, enabling him to be more comfortable. It took her a while as she was inexperienced in such matters. He lay down on the couch and she tucked the quilt and blankets around him before arranging the pillow and a couple of cushions behind him so that he was half lying half sitting. He smiled at her and took her hand in his.

"I feel so much better now you're here, Edith my love. I will never regret anything more than what I did that day."

"We must put that behind us, my love."

"That will be easier said than done," he said. He released her hand and gently placed his hand on her cheek as he looked into her eyes.

"Did you mean what you said, about wanting to try again?"

"Yes I did and I also meant what I said, that I would choose you above my family. They have driven us to this point Anthony. Tradition failed us."

He was incredulous.

"You mean you still want to be my Lady Strallan after all I've done to you?"

"Yes I do, my darling. You have suffered so much for love so I want to be here for you and look after you, as a wife should."

He drew Edith to him as he nuzzled her neck. She shivered as his stubble tickled her. She could smell stale sweat and guessed he had not bothered washing either but hopefully he would pick up. He already seemed a lot calmer because she was here but she knew she was not likely to forget in a hurry. How could a woman forget the image of the man she loved standing there holding a gun to his head? If she had got there ten minutes later...well that really did not bear thinking about.

Johnson brought in a tray with two bowls of steaming chicken stew and a large plate of buttered bread and a kitchen maid followed with a tray bearing milk, sugar, cups and saucers and a teapot.

Anthony ate slowly but seemed to enjoy the food for its simplicity. It really was very good and Edith was glad to see that Anthony had finished his and was on his second cup of tea; she laid her spoon in her empty bowl and took Anthony's hand.

"You look so much better, my love. You have got some colour in your cheeks."

"I feel much better," he sighed. He let her hold his hand.

"Will you stay until this evening?" he asked her.

"Yes my darling," she gently grazed his cheek with her lips, "I will stay as long as you want. It's too long since we spent any time alone together and if you ask me that was the problem. There was always someone around so we could not talk about what really mattered. If you had told me you weren't ready I would have waited so I can only ask your forgiveness for that."

"You have it," he whispered, "I could forgive you anything."


	4. Chapter 4 Dr Clarkson makes a suggestion

**Chapter 4**

Edith sat beside Anthony all that afternoon holding his hand.

He slept a little but not peacefully. Her heart went out to him; she had realised just how much she _did_ love him.

Johnson came in.

"Dr Clarkson is here to see you Sir,"

"Very good, send him in,"

Clarkson walked into the library carrying his doctor's bag; he seemed extremely surprised to find Edith there but her expression told him a lot although no words were spoken.

"I want Lady Edith to stay," Anthony said, reaching for her hand.

"What seems to be the problem, Sir Anthony? I can tell at a glance that you have not been taking care of yourself but other than that,"

"Since the day I jilted Lady Edith, which was the biggest mistake of my life by the way, I haven't been sleeping or eating properly. I have been awake until the early hours because sleep, if it does come, only brings nightmares which wake me. I have had very dark thoughts in fact..." he paused but not for dramatic effect. Edith sensed he was contemplating whether to tell Clarkson about his suicidal thoughts and squeezed his hand gently, caressing it with her fingers.

"In fact what?" Clarkson asked.

"When Lady Edith came in this morning, totally unexpectedly I might add, she found me standing in the middle of the room with my service revolver pressed to my left temple because I had long ago realised I couldn't live without her and I fully intended taking my own life. If she had arrived maybe five or ten minutes later than I am almost certain I would have done just that."

"How do you feel now?" Clarkson asked.

"I feel a lot better and calmer. Lady Edith and I have finally managed the talk we should have had before that day and she has been here taking care of me. I have eaten and feel considerably stronger but sleep eludes me."

"Is it the old war nightmares troubling you?"

"No, well only sometimes but most of the time it is Lady Edith's family trying to get me hanged for her murder because she died unexpectedly on the day we should have married. Sometimes it even gets as far as the scaffold before I wake in a cold sweat. They will never forgive me for what I did and I blame myself for my weakness."

"Do you forgive him, Lady Edith?"

"I forgave him that day, Dr Clarkson," Edith said, "this morning I felt compelled to come because I had a sense of foreboding I could not shake so I came here; in the nick of time as it happens."

"Sir Anthony you have been very lucky," Clarkson said.

"I know that," he sighed.

"You need to start eating properly, Sir Anthony," Clarkson said, "I will give you an iron and vitamin tonic to mix with your food and some laudanum to help you sleep,"

Anthony shook his head, "please, no laudanum. I didn't like the side effects when I had it before and I can't believe some people take it for fun."

Clarkson sighed.

"It will have to be Veronal then; at least it's powder form so you can mix it with a drink. "

"That would be more agreeable,"

"I will leave you a couple of sachets for the next two nights and then I will review the situation and find out if it works for you or not. "

"Thank you," Anthony said. He drew Edith close to him.

"I realise how weak I have been and I know I was not thinking this morning. I had never expected to see Lady Edith again but if she had come by minutes later I shudder to think what she might have found. I am worried for her, Dr Clarkson; now I have her by my side and know that she loves and forgives me I doubt I will feel that desolate or desperate again but she saw something alarming enough and I fear for her."

"I would not worry, Anthony, no one ever came to me when I cried in the night as a child or at any time in my life so if I have nightmares I will be fine."

"I really wish you could stay here with me but I don't want to compromise you and I have no wish to deal with your family at present."

"I quite agree with you there, Sir Anthony," Clarkson said, "You need to rest and Lord Grantham and the dowager are not exactly conducive to peace and quiet,"

"Amen to that," Edith exclaimed.

"What I would suggest to both of you is that you take time together; getting to know each other and rebuilding your friendship."

"That's all very well, Dr Clarkson, but how do I explain prolonged absences from Downton? Half the time they don't realise I'm there at all but you can guarantee that if I plan to do something really important they will suddenly notice and start asking questions. Anthony isn't ready for all that yet and, to be honest, neither am I,"

"I may be able to help you there, Lady Edith? How do you get on with Mrs Crawley?"

"Cousin Isobel is sweet and as on the fringe of things as I am with regard to family matters; in fact I think she is only tolerated because her son is my father's heir."

"She was also the only member of the family, other than Edith, to show me any kindness and respect," Anthony added.

"I know that your family have tried to persuade you to find some outside interests, Lady Edith. Well, Mrs Crawley does do a lot of charity work both here and in York. If you were to pretend to be helping her cause she might well cover for you so you and Anthony can spend the time together that you need. I trust her."

"I suggest that you speak with her, Lady Edith. It will help you to have a confidante."

"Yes, I will do that Dr Clarkson," Edith said.

"Can I give you a lift home?"

"It's alright Dr Clarkson; I drove myself here."

"Well I suggest you don't stay too late because Sir Anthony needs his rest,"

Anthony rang for Johnson and asked him to show Clarkson out. Left alone together once more Edith pressed close to Anthony and kissed him gently on the lips.

"Thank you for everything, my darling," he murmured.

"Would you really have shot yourself if I had not come?" she asked

"I honestly don't know Edith and that scares me. But I feel a lot better now and I am glad we have finally had a chance to talk properly without interruption. I just want to forget the last six months or so ever happened,"

"So do I, my darling," Edith whispered, "I just want to look after you and spend time with you. I think that Cousin Isobel will be worth her weight in gold. In the morning I will pretend to feel ill and go to see her at the cottage hospital then I will come here to be with you."

"I like the sound of that my love and I can't thank you enough," he kissed her gently then as he held her against him.

"I ought to go although to be honest I don't want to," she whispered.

"I don't want you to go either,"

"Have a good night's sleep my love," Edith said, "I will see you in the morning,"

The promise of tomorrow made his spirit soar; a few hours ago he had been determined that Sir Anthony Strallan would never have another tomorrow. It was strange what a difference a few moments could make and the few moments it had taken his sweet Lady Edith to walk into the room and tell him she loved him had changed everything for the better.


	5. Chapter 5 Tea with cousin Isobel

**Chapter 5**

**A/N This story imagines that Sybil did not die. While she and Tom are still exiled from Ireland she had the baby without complications.**

The rain had long cleared up when Edith drove home from Locksley. She was thinking about the reason she would give for her absence that day; that is if anyone had noticed she was missing.

She found Sybil in the hallway.

"Edith, Aunt Rosamund is very ill. Papa and Granny have gone to London to visit her."

"What's wrong with her?" Edith was concerned for she liked Aunt Rosamund.

"They're not sure but they think it's probably pneumonia. She got soaked to the skin last week while out on one of her causes."

"I am sure she will be fine," Edith said, "Aunt Rosamund is pretty tough."

"Mary is out with Matthew and Isobel so it will be just us, Mama and Tom for dinner tonight."

Edith was secretly relieved; going to see Anthony would be a lot easier with her father and grandmother away in London but she would still talk to Isobel.

She was quiet at dinner; hoping that Anthony was eating properly. She had been shocked by the way he had looked. She had never seen him look so frail. She tried not to think about the sight of him holding a revolver to his head. That was something she would have to come to terms with in her own time but having talked to him was good. Edith sensed that they had laid quite a few things to rest and for the first time in many long months she was filled with hope. She had felt close to him both physically and emotionally so the prospect of seeing him again the following day made her feel light-hearted.

OO

Anthony ate a hearty dinner and felt a lot stronger both physically and mentally. He felt sure that he would be able to put those dark desolate times behind him now because Lady Edith forgave and loved him. She had looked so beautiful and feeling her warm hand in his had given him incredible confidence and inner strength. He shivered as he recalled how close he had come to throwing everything away that morning. But the sight of her; those precious few words he had long wanted to hear from her lips made him realise he had hope, something to live for. She had looked after him, made him feel safe from his dark thoughts and he still felt safe now and the hope of tomorrow encouraged him further. He was so proud of her and tried not to think how finding his lifeless body would have ruined her life irrevocably; how could he ever have contemplated this?

He sent for his valet and asked him to prepare a bath as he wanted to scrub himself clean from his dark suicidal thoughts. He had been ashamed; certain that Edith would have smelt the neglect hanging off him like a dirty cloak and he wanted a new start. He knew that she would keep him from her family as long as possible.

Anthony's valet helped him undress.

"You seem so much brighter this evening, Sir,"

Anthony smiled.

"Yes things look much brighter because today I received love and forgiveness from a beautiful lady,"

"I'm very glad to hear that, Sir."

Anthony washed himself thoroughly, including his hair. His valet came in to wash his injured arm and to dry him.

"I often wonder what Lady Edith would think if she could see the scarring,"

"I am sure it would make no difference Sir; not if she truly loves you."

Anthony's valet helped him into his nightshirt although, if he was honest, Anthony wished he was lying naked with Lady Edith in the crook of his good arm and flushed at the thought. His valet brought him a glass of water into which was mixed the Veronal that Clarkson had given him.

Anthony drank it down and lay back to think about his beautiful lady Edith. He could not wait to see her again. Soon after, he fell into a deep, restful and dreamless sleep.

OO

Edith had trouble sleeping that night. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Anthony standing in the middle of his library holding that revolver to his head. She shivered as she realised how inconsolable she would have been had he fired. She had realised in that moment that she loved him more than she had realised and had felt an acute fear of loss. She could not be sure that he would not have pulled that trigger; even Anthony himself had been uncertain. She wasn't religious, in fact she wasn't even sure she believed in God, but she murmured a quiet prayer.

"God, if you are there then thank you for Anthony's precious life. Thank you for giving us a second chance. Please be close to him tonight and let him know that I love him. Amen,"

Finally she fell asleep dreaming of how good it had felt being held close to the warm body of the man she loved.

OO

The following morning Edith had breakfast and then went to the cottage hospital.

Isobel was tidying the linen cupboard.

"Hello Edith dear, are you looking for Dr Clarkson?"

"No, it was you I needed to talk to."

"Well come and have a cup of tea,"

Isobel poured the tea and handed a cup to Edith who added some sugar.

"Cousin Isobel, what I'm to tell you is difficult therefore I would appreciate it if you don't interrupt or ask questions until I have finished."

"I understand, Edith dear,"

Edith swallowed.

"Yesterday morning when I woke my first thought, as it has been for months, was of Sir Anthony Strallan but somehow it was different. I began to feel a chilling sense of foreboding, as though something bad was imminent. It was raining as you know but I went out anyway and drove to Locksley. I had to cajole his butler a little as he was not sure his master would want to see me but he led me to the library and we went in," Edith hesitated; once again that image flashed before her eyes and she shivered.

Isobel waited.

"Anthony was standing in the middle of the room holding a service revolver to his left temple. I was terrified. He seemed frozen. I tried to shout no but the words came out barely more than a croak. I then said, before I could stop myself, 'Anthony, I love you'"

He dropped the gun and I went and picked it up asking his butler, Johnson, to lock it away for his sake. Anyway, to cut a long story short, we spent the day talking and just holding each other. He has got so thin, Cousin Isobel, it was heartbreaking to see," Edith tried to ignore the tears pricking her own eyes.

"Thank goodness you got there in time!" Isobel breathed.

"I have no way of knowing if he would have gone through with it of course, "Edith said, "Even he did not seem sure. But he was so desolate, like all hope had gone and he punishes himself terribly for what he did that day although I know it was done out of love and I have never borne him a moment's malice on account of it."

"Has Dr Clarkson seen him?" Isobel asked.

"Yes, he gave him veronal to help him sleep and told him he needed to eat. He also suggested that Anthony and I spend time together getting to know each other before springing it on the family. But while I am technically invisible most of the time you can guarantee that they would notice any absence that was Anthony related. Anthony is not ready to deal with them yet; especially not my grandmother. So I have a favour to ask of you cousin Isobel, would you cover for me?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well everyone keeps telling me to find ways to occupy my time so I thought if I told them that I was doing charity work with you then they would not question it. You could always say I had gone further afield if it came to it. I know it's asking you to lie but it is in a good cause."

"Of course I will, Edith my dear. Sir Anthony is a lovely man and I was sorrier than you could ever know that day. He did what he did out of love and the two of you belong together. I will be only too glad to help; if only to get up Cousin Violet's nose."

"We just need a bit of time alone," Edith said, "When we decide that we are ready then you will be first to know but I want to be Lady Strallan more than ever now."

"I hope you will be," Isobel said, "I understand your father and grandmother are in London with Lady Rosamund at the moment,"

"Yes, that makes things a little easier to begin with at least and Matthew has taken Mary away for a couple of days,"

Edith was relieved.

Isobel put her hand on Edith's shoulder.

"Go on my dear, go to Sir Anthony for he will be waiting for you,"

OO

Edith drove to Locksley and Johnson let her in.

"He's been waiting for you, my lady,"

He pushed open the door. Anthony was standing by the mantelpiece reading a book.

Within moments he had crossed the room and drawn her to his warm body. Anthony directed Johnson to bring them tea. Johnson left and Anthony held her close to him and began to nuzzle her neck and shoulder.

"You look so much better today," she said, "and you smell divine." She inhaled his shaving soap blended with cologne which made her light headed.

"Oh Edith darling, "he breathed, "I feel that my life can begin again now and I am so glad that you are here,"

"It's a pleasure to be here, Anthony my love," she whispered as she kissed his throat, "I talked to cousin Isobel this morning and she will help us by covering for me so I can spend time with you. My family will think I'm doing charity work so long absences will be easily explained."

"No doubt your grandmother and Lady Mary would consider you spending time with me to be charity work anyway so it won't exactly be lying," he said with a smile.

"I'd never thought of it like that," Edith said giving him a playful slap on the arm as they both burst out laughing.


	6. Chapter 6 True romance

**Chapter 6**

**A/N I thought our favourite couple deserved a nice day alone together so this chapter is pure fluff.**

They drank tea; nestled close to each other on the sofa that had been Anthony's bed the previous day.

He kept his left arm around her; holding her close to his warm body.

"You are so beautiful," he murmured into her coppery hair, "You are everything I could ever want and I can't believe I almost threw everything away."

Edith gently stroked his back.

"You are the most gorgeous man I've ever met," she whispered, "and you have no need to fear because, as a wife, I would be honoured to share your bed."

She continued stroking his back and he shivered as her fingertips lightly traced his spine. "Oh Edith," he breathed, as his eyes filled with tears.

She held him close to her; enjoying the warmth and security of being close to him. The truth was that she was deeply aroused by him; her thoughts were considerably unladylike but she did not feel remotely ashamed that she wanted him to make love to her.

"I hope you've been eating properly?"

"I had a good hearty dinner last night as well as a good breakfast and I really do feel very much better."

"Did you sleep alright?"

"Like a baby; there were no dreams either good or bad,"

He looked into her eyes.

"Did you sleep alright my love? I was worried, after what you saw,"

"It took me a while to drop off but I wasn't troubled by bad dreams because I dreamt of your sweet face."

He held her close and nuzzled her neck.

"Anthony, will you please kiss me? I have waited so long to feel your mouth on mine,"

His mouth descended to hers and he kissed her so hard it took their breath away. Edith kissed him back aware that she was trembling. His sensual mouth caressed hers before his lips grazed her throat and moved up to her earlobe which he gently nibbled, smiling as he felt her body tremble violently in the crook of his good arm. How he wished he could hold her properly but she was content enough as things were.

He moved his mouth back to claim hers and she held him close.

When the kiss finally broke their breathing was ragged.

"Anthony," she breathed, "That was the most beautiful experience of my life,"

"Mine too," he whispered, "Oh I do love you so very much, Lady Edith,"

"I love you too, Anthony my beloved." Her fingers caressed his back and shoulders.

They continued being; just holding each other. There was no need for words because the silence between them was comfortable.

They shared lunch and Anthony gently slipped a finger of toast lathered with butter between her lips. He licked the butter from his fingers. She slipped a bit between his lips and he ate it. They fed each other and Anthony was well aware of how incredibly erotic it felt. He wanted to make love to her; he had woken so aroused that morning just thinking about her yet he had no desire to compromise her although, he supposed, it would mean Lord Grantham would either have to let them marry or face scandal. He flushed; no he could not ask that of her. He wanted an unspoilt virgin bride as Maud had been before her but reining in his ardent passion might prove awkward and a real test of resolve.

Edith took his hand; Anthony smiled.

"Are you alright?" she asked gently

"I'm fine," he said, "Would you like to go for a walk through the estate? The woods are simply lovely in the autumn and it's too long since I went out."

"You mean you haven't been out since that day?"

"You see right through me as usual," he grinned sheepishly.

No wonder his complexion was so sallow since he had deprived himself of both food and fresh air. Her heart ached for him but in a way she was flattered. No man had ever gone to such lengths of suffering on her account before.

OO

They took a long walk through the estate and into the woods; holding hands. Anthony had been right' the myriad of golden, red, brown and orange leaves carpeting the ground shone in the autumn sunlight and the skies were a deeper blue than his eyes. It was like being in a magical world but to Edith any world with Anthony in it was pure magic. Had he shot himself then, to her, the woods and beauty of the Locksley estate would be winter forever; like the Giant's garden in Oscar Wilde's story.

"Oh Anthony, it's beautiful," she gasped, linking her arm through his.

"Not as beautiful as you," he said. She looked into his eyes and her heart leapt to see that the former bright spark was back there.

He held her close as they stood in a pile of leaves and once again they kissed. It was a deeply passionate kiss that left them both trembling and breathing ragged.

He whispered in her ear.

"Darling Edith, I would give anything to be able to make love to you but I can't compromise you. Your family would never forgive me for that on top of the other thing."

She slipped both arms around his thin body, making sure she supported his injured right arm. She looked right into his eyes and he saw a spark in her doe brown eyes.

"Anthony, my family's indifference got us into this situation and it's time I fought for what I wanted for once and took no prisoners about it. You are everything to me and I love you with all my heart. I always have."

"You really do want me don't you?" he breathed,

She nodded vigorously.

"Anthony, my aunt Rosamund is quite ill so my father and grandmother have gone to visit her in London. I don't know how long they will be away. That makes things somewhat easier for a while at least."

"I think we should wait until I'm a bit stronger and have gained some weight. I feel strong enough but that could be deceptive."

"Why don't we go away and get married?" Edith said, "It would be all above board and since I'm of age they can't stop me; I know you would rather have my father's blessing but I don't think we will ever have that."

She held him tightly as she nuzzled his neck and shoulder,

"I think we should try and wait," he said, "I really don't want to compromise you but as a man well I can't help that my natural instincts are overriding my common sense right now. Any man would feel that way when in the arms of a woman as beautiful as you."

She kissed him; gently caressing his lips with hers.

"Thank you for respecting me," she whispered."We need to get you really well; rebuild your strength and bulk but I have one request,"

"Name it,"

"I want you to wear your VC; you earned it in the service of your King and country and such things should not be hidden away; especially when most often it's given posthumously to men who can never wear it. It may give you confidence and I shall be so proud of you, not that I'm not already proud. You have come back from a very dark place and I love you for it. I love you because of your pain and experience, not in spite of it."

His eyes filled with tears.

"I want to ask you something," he said as he dropped to one knee, taking her hand in his good one.

She smiled.

"Lady Edith Crawley, I love you with my whole heart and I sincerely apologise for all the pain I have caused you through my reckless actions. You have given me a reason to want to live as your love and forgiveness means more to me than I can ever say. Please would you do me the great honour of agreeing to become my wife?"

Tears flowed down Edith's cheeks and she let them fall as his own were filling up too.

"Yes," she breathed, "A thousand times yes my darling; of course I will marry you,"

He got to his feet and lifted her off the ground with his strong left arm, planting a wet kiss on her cheek,"

"Come on, you sweet romantic darling," she said, "It's getting chilly so let's go and have some tea,"

"That sounds like a jolly good idea," he said as he took her arm and they began to walk back towards the house.


	7. Chapter 7 Lady Rosamund speaks out

**Chapter 7**

**Three months later**

Anthony was now only two pounds light of the weight he had been the day of the jilting and Dr Clarkson was pleased with his progress; especially since he could now sleep through the night without bad dreams. Anthony attributed his good health to the love of his beautiful Lady Edith. He regularly wore his VC and seemed so much more confident. Edith was extremely proud of him.

Even after Edith had come back into his life he had not wanted to go out because he was embarrassed since his clothes were hanging off him so she was surprised when he suggested a drive. He wanted to be seen out with her and he had mentioned more than once that he didn't want to be her secret any more. Edith was pleased that he was so much better but she felt fear and trepidation at telling her family.

OO

Robert and Violet were still in London; their visit prolonged because Lady Rosamund had had severe complications with the pneumonia and she had almost died twice. They were staying at Grantham Lodge although one or other of them was always at Rosamund's bedside whether she was awake or not. Robert had almost daily contact with Matthew who was running the estate in his absence and he spoke to Cora every other day.

"Mother," Rosamund said one day, "I think I am going to need a nurse for a while when I finally get out of here,"

"That goes without saying," Violet said.

"Strange how you accept your daughter needs a nurse but you won't let your granddaughter marry a man who, although he is injured, manages more than adequately."

"I forbid you to mention that man's name, Rosamund," Violet said icily, "He humiliated Edith that day,"

"I don't think you gave him much choice," Rosamund said, "You and Robert made it clear he wasn't good enough for her despite the fact he has a title and his income is greater than Robert's. Locksley has not been in financial trouble and needed rescuing through a hit or miss bequest. Yes I agree he should have spoken up before and I know he lacks confidence but you treated him like nothing. Edith is not a child anymore, Mama; she deserves the right to be happy. She's worth so much more than being company for Robert and Cora in their old age. With Mary and Sybil married that is what would happen. Did you never notice that when he walked into a room everyone and everything else ceased to exist for her apart from him?"

"I really do not want to talk about it Rosamund," Violet snapped, "He'll never want to see her again so really this conversation is pointless,"

"Well I will talk about it Mama because I care about my niece. Edith loves Sir Anthony Strallan and he loves her. He tried to set her free so what he did he did in love but he didn't realise that she felt freer with him than she ever did at Downton. She's stifled there, Mama; always third place to Mary and Sybil,"

"I think that's quite enough, Rosamund," Violet's tone brokered no argument but she did not realise that what Rosamund had said would keep her awake a good many nights as she considered its merits.

OO

Edith was deliriously happy as she sped along the lanes with Anthony sitting beside her. The wind tousled their hair and brought tears to their eyes. They had decided to have a picnic so Anthony had had his cook prepare a basket with all kinds of treats.

They found a place by the river with a large tree for shade. Edith spread out a blanket and Anthony carried the basket. They ate plenty; there were sandwiches, fruit and cakes.

"It's so good to see you eating," Edith said as she snuggled up to his warm body. He put his arm around her after slipping a morsel of cold chicken between her lips.

"Anthony, I really do love you," she breathed, "These last few months, well I have never been as happy as I am now. "

"Nor have I my darling and I have you to thank for that. I have you to thank for my life because, if you had not come, then I would not be here; I am as sure as I can be of that."

Edith cuddled him close; he felt so much stronger now and she smiled as her hands caressed him and made him shiver.

"I can understand your reluctance, Edith darling," he nuzzled her neck, "In truth your grandmother terrifies me but I know you can make our case; speak from the heart and make them listen. I will be there with you,"

She looked into his eyes.

"Anthony darling, I don't want you to be a secret anymore either. Ours is a love that should be publicly acknowledged, not hidden."

She nestled close to him; resting her head on his shoulder.

"Anthony, why don't we go down to London tomorrow? Your clothes fit well enough now and you're strong enough. If we go there we will be on neutral territory and if I'm honest I want to marry you as soon as possible, we have wasted so much time,"

"Are you sure that wouldn't be because you want to have your wicked way with me?" he laughed.

"Well, there's that as well of course," she laughed. He loved the sound of her laughter; especially after those long months deprived of her company and any hope of ever seeing her again. She kissed him gently on the lips and it escalated into a deep tender kiss. When the kiss broke he was trembling in her arms and she gently stroked his back while her lips grazed his neck. He knew that the day she discovered the hollow of his neck he would be putty in her hands.

"Anthony, I will be a dutiful wife in every respect," she said, "I really want to give you an heir,"

""I would love to put a baby inside you," he whispered, "I have despaired of ever having anyone to carry on my name. When I die my family dies with me and I almost killed that."

He drew her close to him and she sighed deeply as his fingertips caressed her spine.

"Come over straight after breakfast tomorrow," he said, "bring an overnight bag so we can put up at a hotel, separate rooms for appearances. We will go to the station and catch a train."

"Alright my darling," Edith whispered, "and don't forget to wear that medal."


	8. Chapter 8 Grand scale subterfuge

**Chapter 8**

**A/N: I thought it would be rather fun if our favourite couple indulged in some grand scale subterfuge to ensure their safe flight to London. Rating also rises to M as they finally give in to all consuming passion.**

They were sitting in the library. Anthony was doing the Times crossword and Edith was reading poetry.

"I have a rather fun idea," she whispered.

"Do tell,"

"I want to stay the night here; with you,"

"Edith, are you sure?"

"Yes. I think I will phone cousin Isobel and put the idea in her head about visiting a similar charity project in York and staying over. That way she will keep out of sight. Then I will phone Downton and ask for Anna. She will meet us at the lodge with an overnight bag for me for the London trip."

"But won't it be a bit suspicious a maid leaving with an overnight bag? Your Mr Carson is far from stupid."

"This is the best bit," Edith exclaimed, "but I need a man to help me,"

"If I can,"

"I will get a man to phone Downton purporting to be from York prison. Once we get Anna on the line I will take over. We will tell her to tell Carson that Mr Bates has been admitted to the prison infirmary with influenza and is quite ill so it is recommended she stay over in York. That will explain the overnight bag. She can come with us if she likes or have a bit of free time."

"You are very devious, Lady Edith," Anthony grinned,

"Can you disguise your voice; only Carson knows what yours sounds like and guaranteed it will be him who answers the phone,"

"Like this you mean?" Anthony spoke in a deep gravelly tone that did not sound like him at all. Shivers ran down Edith's back.

"Perfect," she said.

OO

Edith telephoned Isobel and explained her plan.

"That's a good idea, Edith, if you are ready to get married, because it does not look like cousin Robert will be back anytime soon. As it happens I was planning on going shopping in York tomorrow anyway. I have a friend I can stay with so it won't cost me a penny."

"That's even better," Edith said, "Thank you so much,"

"I'm a romantic at heart so will do anything to aid the course of true love. How is Sir Anthony?"

"He's very well. He is eating properly and his clothes fit him properly now. I don't want him to have to be a secret anymore, cousin Isobel. It was just necessary to get him well and ready to face life again as he would have regressed had I been kept from his side."

"I quite understand, Edith. I wish you both the very best of luck."

Edith hung up.

"It's your turn now," she said.

Anthony dialled Downton and, as predicted, Carson answered.

"Downton Abbey. Carson the butler speaking."

"Mr Carson, My name is James Scott. I am a warder at York prison and I am trying to reach Mrs Anna Bates. I have news concerning her husband,"

"Certainly, I shall fetch her for you."

Anna came in.

"It's York prison, Anna," Carson said, "They have news about Mr Bates, I will go so you can have some privacy."

"Thank you Mr Carson," Anna took the phone from him and he left the room.

"Hello, this is Anna Bates speaking. I understand you have news concerning my husband,"

Anthony passed the phone to Edith.

"Anna, it's Lady Edith. I'm sorry for the ruse but I need your help."

"Who was that speaking then?"

"Sir Anthony Strallan, very effective voice disguising. Listen Anna, I have been seeing Sir Anthony in secret for months because he has been ill. I haven't been doing charity work at all."

"That's great news my lady," Anna breathed.

"I need you to meet me at the bottom of the drive tomorrow with an overnight bag. Sir Anthony and I are going to London to talk to my father. I need you to tell Carson something like Bates is in the prison infirmary with influenza and the prison suggested you might stay over in York until he is returned to the general prison population. That will give you a valid reason for having an overnight bag and you can either come to London with us or have some free time. Can you do that for me?"

"I certainly can, my lady," Anna smiled and then saw Carson coming.

"I quite understand. I will need to clear it with my employer but I should be able to be at the prison tomorrow morning."

Guessing that Carson had come back Edith put down the telephone.

OO

"Is everything alright Anna?" Carson asked.

Anna faked a sniffle.

"No Mr Carson. Mr Bates is very ill with influenza and is in the prison infirmary. The prison has suggested I stay in York a couple of days and I will be able to spend time with him until he is well enough to return to the general prison population. I hate to ask, Mr Carson, but I _do_ need to be with my husband. Oh I am so worried about him."

"Of course you may go, Anna. It is your right as his wife and we shall manage fine,"

"Thank you," Anna breathed.

Carson left the room and a smile lit Anna's face. She felt sure that she had played her part to perfection and she was delighted for Lady Edith and Sir Anthony because she knew they belonged together.

OO

"You were wonderful," Edith put her arms around Anthony and kissed him, "actually you sounded incredibly desirable speaking like that."

"Did I now?" he coughed, "I will give myself a sore throat if I keep it up,"

"I'm sure you can keep something else up very well though," Edith teased.

"You are becoming a very naughty girl," he said; feigning shock although he liked her provocative teasing very much.

OO

Edith had dinner at Locksley. It was good to see Anthony eating so heartily and enjoying his food after the pitiful wasted state in which she had found him three months previously. After dinner they asked Johnson to bring them coffee in the library.

"Johnson, Lady Edith will be staying the night here as we have to make an early start. We are going to London to see Lord Grantham and the dowager."

"Very good, Sir Anthony. I will have Mrs Grayling make up the bed in one of the guest rooms."

Anthony shook his head.

"Lady Edith will be staying the night with me,"

"It is not my place to judge, Sir, but in my humble opinion you both deserve that chance to be together."

"Thank you Johnson," Edith smiled; imagining what Carson would say if he was to be told the same thing. The man would probably go into an apoplectic fit.

"No, thank you Lady Edith," Johnson smiled, "If I may say, you have brought our master back to us and you have our heartfelt thanks for that,"

OO

The evening wore on and Edith lay in the crook of Anthony's good arm.

"I love you so much," he breathed.

"I love you too, my darling," she said, resting her head on his chest.

"Are you sure about this, spending the night with me?"

"Yes, I am. It will bring us closer together and it may also give us a reason where getting married becomes necessity."

"You really are a naughty girl, Lady Edith," he smiled.

She got up and pulled him to his feet. He held her in his good arm and claimed her mouth with such ferocity it took her breath quite away as she responded enthusiastically.

"Anthony," she murmured.

He took her hand and led her upstairs to his bedchamber.

"I'm sorry there are no candles or rose petals but come our wedding night there will be."

"Just being with you is romantic, Anthony my darling,"

She carefully removed his sling and cravat and began to unbutton his shirt. She found it awkward because of her inexperience but she got there and he was incredibly patient with her. Her tongue swirled around his erect nipples, her eyes wide as she took in his masculine appearance. His strong chest and broad shoulders, the right slightly stooped on account of his injury.

"Let me see," she whispered, "I love you because of the injury, my darling. It's part of the man I love."

He turned his back and her mouth began to lovingly caress the scars on his back and shoulder. She saw that the bone structure was askew and the scar over the bullet hole was jagged but she put her arms around him and pressed close.

"I know you can't feel it my love but I want you to know that I am caressing and kissing it and it does not repel me because I love you so very much."

Tears came to his eyes.

"I wish to god I _could _feel it, darling Edith,"

She continued to caress his injury.

"Edith," his voice was choked with emotion.

She walked back in front of him and put her arms around him. She began to caress his neck with her lips, smiling as she felt him shiver. She moved down and began to lick and caress the hollow of his neck. He moaned loudly,

"Oh god, please don't stop. That feels absolutely wonderful and deliciously erotic."

He was deeply aroused by her caresses and whispered.

"Let me please you, Lady Edith, I have ached to do so for longer than I care to remember."

His left hand slowly slid her dress off first her left shoulder then her right and it slid down her body revealing her nakedness. He began to nuzzle her neck; kissing and licking her and smiling as she shivered.

"Oh Anthony,"

He gently pushed her back onto the bed. She removed the remainder of his clothing and gasped when she saw how big and hard he was. She could feel her own desire trickling from her and glistening on her inner thighs.

He held her close to him, continuing to kiss and lick her.

"Make love to me, darling Anthony," she murmured huskily, "I really want to feel you inside me."

He slid inside her gently and slowly so as not to hurt her but she was so deliciously aroused that she felt no pain at all. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she pushed up against his thrust, slowly at first and then faster as he thrust deeper. Pretty soon they were slicked with sweat and panting like thirsty dogs.

"Oh god Edith, Edith," he moaned softly as he released his love inside her. Moments later she was calling his name as she came to a delicious climax.

He held her close to him and she rested her head on his chest. She closed her eyes as she inhaled his musky very masculine aroma.

"You're Lady Strallan in all but name now," he whispered, "but I intend to rectify that as soon as possible, with or without your father's blessing. I don't know why I didn't feel like this last time but right now I feel I could take on one hundred Lord Grantham's and win,"

Tears filled Edith's eyes.

"It's so good to hear fighting talk from you, my darling," she whispered.

"It's good to know that I can think that way too and it's all down to you my darling, you give me so much confidence."

They drifted off to sleep their bodies entwined and Anthony had the most peaceful night's sleep he had ever known and he felt no need to worry about tomorrow.


	9. Chapter 9 The morning after

**Chapter 9**

Anthony awoke early that morning; he lay for a while looking at Edith who was sleeping in the crook of his good arm. She looked so beautiful and there was a sweet smile on her face which made him wonder if she was dreaming of him.

He was smiling too at the memory of last night. Making love to her had been so sweet and she had been so tender with him that it had brought tears to his eyes; the way she had kissed and caressed his scars had shown real love although he had not been able to feel it and when her lips had caressed the hollow of his neck it had really got to him because it had been so incredibly erotic. For the first time in many years he felt almost complete and he knew that once he had slipped a gold band onto her finger he would want for nothing else for the rest of his life.

Edith stirred and looked into his eyes; captivated by his beautiful smile that reached his eyes.

"Good morning my lovely," he whispered.

"Good morning my darling," she said, kissing him gently. "Thank you for last night,"

"It was an absolute pleasure," he smiled.

She could almost feel the warm content radiating from him and she felt safe and loved. She had never expected making love to feel so real, so binding, but she felt incredibly close to him.

"You look so happy and at peace that it makes me want to cry," She breathed, "I love you so very much."

"I feel a greater peace than I have ever known," he murmured, "I feel almost complete and when I put a ring on your finger I will be,"

Edith cuddled him close and he held her tightly.

"I look forward to being like this every morning once we're married," she said, "Oh god Anthony, you have made me so very happy and I'm a woman now,"

"Was it alright for you?" he asked, "I didn't hurt you?"

"Anthony, it was the most magically beautiful experience of my life and it did not hurt at all: that I can promise you,"

"Good," he began to nuzzle her bare neck and shoulder and before long she was seducing him and they were making love with wild abandon. Finally they collapsed against each other; slicked with sweat and their breathing ragged.

"I could really get used to this," she purred seductively,"being in bed with the most desirable man in Yorkshire,"

"I promise it won't be too long, Edith darling. If we don't get your father's blessing then we will elope, I promise. Tradition failed us before because I was too weak to stand up for you, for us, but not this time my darling. We will get married whatever happens."

Tears filled her eyes; she could hear the conviction in his voice and knew that this time he would not let them down, He held her close; to her it did not matter that he could not hold her with two arms because his one good arm was enough to make her feel safe and appreciated.

Johnson brought them tea; not batting an eyelid at the fact that Edith was in a state of dishabille.

They drank their tea slowly.

"You had better go into the next room and get dressed because I would rather my valet didn't know you were with me last night. I am not a bit ashamed that you were sharing my bed but people talk and I want to protect your reputation,"

"I quite understand,"

They extricated themselves from each other with great reluctance and Edith went to wash and dress. They went downstairs for breakfast.

Edith felt it was the best breakfast she had ever spent; having a gorgeous blue-eyed baronet smiling at her across the table made her realise it wasn't just food she had an appetite for.

Anthony's chauffeur, Perkins, took his valet, Frazer, to the station where he would wait with Anthony's bags until they came later. He would be able to have breakfast in the railway station cafe and buy their tickets to save time. Perkins would come back to take his master and Lady Edith to the station via Downton as they had to meet Anna to collect Edith's overnight things.

After breakfast Anthony & Edith left Locksley; it was a warm day although the dark skies threatened rain.

OO

Anna was waiting for them at the bottom of the drive carrying a bag.

"Thanks Anna," Edith breathed.

"I thought that it would look suspicious if I left with your smart overnight bag my lady so I packed some of my own things and put your bag in a bigger one," Anna removed Edith's bag and fastened hers again. "I thought I would go and visit Mr Bates, although he isn't actually ill, and stay with a friend of mine who is a housemaid in York as her mistress is away."

"That's a good idea, Anna. Did Carson believe you?"

"Yes, I faked a few tears as well,"

"Thank you so much," Edith breathed.

"You're welcome, my lady," Anna smiled, "You're looking very well, Sir Anthony,"

"Thank you very much," Anthony breathed, "I feel jolly fine and dandy Can we give you a lift to the station, if Perkins doesn't mind having you sit up front with him,"

"That's no problem, Sir Anthony,"

"Thank you very much," Anna got into the front seat and they moved off to the station where they met up with Frazer. Edith embraced Anna, "Thank you so much for helping us,"

"It's really no problem my lady; anything to aid the course of true love, Mind you look after each other and I wish you the very best,"

"Thank you Anna," Anthony said.

Anna left them to cross the footbridge since the York train departed from the opposite platform.

About twenty minutes later Edith and Anthony were settled into their first class carriage and the train was pulling out. She held Anthony's hand and he kissed her chastely.

Their adventure in London was beginning; although Edith saw it as a necessity rather than an adventure. She was deeply anxious about her family's reaction to Sir Anthony; he sensed this as he held her close and nuzzled her neck. He was wearing his VC medal under his overcoat, pinned to his dark navy blazer. He seemed far more confident than she did for which she was glad.

The train pulled into London in the early afternoon and they alighted. Frazer had alighted from third with their baggage.

"Right, where to?" Anthony said.

"We need to think about this," Edith replied, her voice choked with nervous anxiety.


	10. Chapter 10 Violet talks, Robert listens

**Chapter 10**

Violet had not slept much since the day Rosamund had talked about Anthony. She was not keen to entertain the idea of that Strallan nonsense again nor was she prepared to admit that she might have been partly responsible for the action he had taken on what should have been the happiest day of her second grand-daughter's life.

But now she thought about it, and much as she hated to admit it, Rosamund had probably been right. Violet had been quite snide in her remarks but Anthony _had _been injured in the service of his country during a war in which her own son had not fought; indeed Lord Grantham had wound up as a pretty pointless regimental mascot. Granted Robert had fought in the African war but the memory of that had been superceded by the Great War in terms of importance. Violet did not know about Anthony's VC. She knew that Anthony's income far exceeded her son's and, in addition, as Rosamund had correctly pointed out, Anthony had never been dependent on anyone to financially secure Locksley's future. Either Anthony did not invest or his financial advisors had considerably more sense and/or luck.

Violet had not wanted to see that Edith loved Anthony but the way she had been moping around Downton since that day seemed to suggest little else. Had Rosamund been right in that he had set her free to find someone better? That was an unlikely outcome, Violet knew, since there were so few eligible young men left. Those who were still living were those who had shirked their moral responsibility and duty to their King and country; Violet would not have wanted her grand-daughter to marry a coward. Sir Anthony Strallan had always lacked confidence and that was not his fault. His late wife had somewhat henpecked him at times she remembered. He was a gentleman and Violet had never disputed this; she disliked the fact that he did not stand up for himself or enter into verbal sparring. That did not make him a bad person though. Had she done him a disservice? He had been distraught the day he had walked out on the wedding; like he was being torn between a perceived sense of duty and the desires of his own heart which had indeed been the case.

Violet did not dislike Sir Anthony at all although she had often thought he needed a wife to sort him out and build his confidence which was exactly what Edith had tried to do. Now she thought about it that new footman at Downton, the very tall one, was so clumsy when he served he might as well have ten thumbs instead of two good arms. Anthony managed more than adequately; alright he needed help to dress but most men in his position had valets anyway.

Violet made up her mind that she would discuss the matter with Robert. Edith was the only unmarried daughter and she was not getting any younger. If she was going to provide a husband with an heir she could not leave it much longer.

That morning they had had breakfast at Grantham Lodge and retreated to the sitting room for coffee. They were not going to the hospital until that afternoon because Rosamund was having a series of chest x-rays to check that there were no further pneumonia complications.

"Robert," Violet put on her "You're going to listen to what I have to say whether you like it or not" voice. He sighed and she noticed he looked tired; his complexion was sallow after so many days and hours at his sister's bedside and even when he wasn't on "night duty" at the hospital he was not sleeping properly, if at all. His eyes were smudged beneath with dark rings.

"Yes Mama," His mind was miles away at Downton with his beloved Cora. He would rather have been anywhere at that time than where he was.

"Do you think Edith is alright, after what happened I mean?"

"Strallan made his choice that day and humiliated her," he said harshly, "That is an end to it because I would not allow him within a mile of her now,"

Robert had no idea of course that Anthony had been very close to Edith in the last three months and never closer than that morning or the previous night.

"I have been thinking about the situation a lot, Robert. I don't like what he did to her but I am certain we did not help matters; we did not give them our blessing and we did not attempt to get to know him. We never asked Edith how she felt about the situation or about him. From what I have seen these last weeks when at the hospital with Rosamund it is that injured men don't drop dead from heart attacks; they get on and manage in spite of their injuries which Strallan actually does rather well; that injury of his does not render him incapable of fathering an heir or indeed, much as I dislike speaking of such things, being a proper husband in the carnal sense,"

"You've changed your tune, mother," Robert was surprised, "but he has bolted now so no good could ever come of wondering what might have been,"

"Don't you want Edith to be happy, Robert?"

"Of course I do, Mama; but you are speaking of a lost cause. It is unlikely he would even agree to see Edith much less any of us. What has got you onto this train of thought? You were so relieved he walked out that you were almost crowing like a cock." The last words were in a somewhat accusatory tone and Violet remember that he had tried to coax Anthony to stay and go ahead with the ceremony whereas she had not.

"The other day, Rosamund pointed out she would need a nurse for a while when she is discharged and she said it was strange that I had no problem admitting her daughter needed a nurse yet I could not tolerate the idea of Edith becoming one to Anthony. I was very angry with her and forbade her to say his name but she ignored that and, in truth, she spoke a lot of sense. After all he has never been dependent on anyone else to rescue Locksley financially and his income exceeds yours. I agree he lacks confidence, Robert, but he is a gentleman and he would be able to look after her as would she him. Isn't that part of marriage after all, the in sickness and in health part?"

"Yes, that is true. I tried to be there for Cora when she had the Spanish flu and god, if I had lost her..." his voice trailed off.

He neglected to mention that he had also been pursuing a house maid, Jane, at the same time.

"We also have to remember that Edith is unmarried and getting on; if left much longer she will not be able to produce an heir for any husband,"

"So what are you saying, Mama? After being very anti the idea do you now suggest we put a gun to his head and force him to marry her? If I were him I would not want to see any member of our family ever again,"

"No Robert, but I suggest we allow them a chance to be alone together and talk."

Violet had no idea of course that Anthony and Edith had had plenty of occasions to talk in the last few months or that there _had_ been a gun pointed at Anthony's head albeit by his own hand. She also had no idea that the two of them were in closer proximity than she imagined.

Edith and Anthony had decided to try Grantham Lodge first. There was a new butler there who would not know either of them which, Edith supposed, made things easier.

She went and knocked on the door; her body shaking with trepidation. Anthony put his good arm around her waist.

The door was opened by a middle aged man with greying hair.

"Yes?" he enquired.

"Are Lord Grantham and the dowager countess home?" Edith enquired politely, grateful for Anthony's arm around her.

"Yes my lady, who shall I say is here?"

Edith took a deep breath.

"Lady Edith Crawley and Sir Anthony Strallan," she breathed.

He let them in and left them in the hallway while he went to enquire.

Robert and Violet's conversation had drifted onto other matters by now.

The butler came in,

"I am sorry to disturb you, Lord Grantham, Lady Grantham, but there is a Lady Edith Crawley and a Sir Anthony Strallan who wish to see you,"

"Very well," Robert sighed, "I will talk somewhat belatedly to Edith and find out if he is still what she really wants,"

"That's all I ask," Violet said, "although who would have thought I would ever agree with Rosamund,"


	11. Chapter 11 Long overdue acceptance

**Chapter 11**

"Show them in," Robert said, somewhat wearily. He really did not feel like dealing with this right now. Violet sensed his apprehension.

"I'll do the talking, Robert."

"You usually do, Mama," he replied somewhat tersely.

Edith and Anthony entered the room; Edith grateful that he still had his arm around her waist.

"You're the last person I expected to see, Sir Anthony," Violet quipped.

"I would prefer to hear you say you never expected to see me again, given that that is more the truth of the matter," Anthony said. Violet drew back; a little surprised by his tone.

"Whatever the case, why are you here now?"

"A few months ago I was very ill," Anthony replied, "in fact Lady Edith came by at a crucial time"

A shiver went down Edith's back and she hoped Anthony would not mention the suicidal intention in case her father and grandmother immediately judged him mentally unstable.

"No matter what Mama may have told you, I have not been doing charity work with cousin Isobel," Edith said, "I spent time with Anthony until he was well. We were able to discuss the issues that we should have done before that day and the truth is I don't want to live without Anthony or he without me. I don't care about his injury and, contrary to what you thought; it does not mean he is likely to drop dead of a sudden heart-attack. Dr Clarkson says he is in rude health other than the injury."

"We never thought he would," Violet said.

"With respect Lady Grantham I am more than capable of taking care of Lady Edith as a husband should; I realise that now. I am, as she says, in rude health. Alright so I need help to dress and bathe but most men in my position have valets anyway and I can manage more than adequately because I made a point of learning to do so in order to prevent me being completely helpless. I have her forgiveness for what I did that day and that is all I need. I always felt I was not good enough for her but our talks in the previous months have convinced me that I am."

He drew their attention to the VC pinned to his chest. Violet and Robert were dumbstruck.

"Why did you not tell us about this before, Sir Anthony?" Violet stammered.

"I did not believe I deserved it, Lady Grantham, but Edith has been a tremendous help to my confidence since she has made me wear and live up to it. Would it have made any difference since I believe I am worth far more than a medal, to Edith certainly even if no one else"

Edith was immensely proud of him at this point and even Violet smiled, her thought being that he had finally found the backbone that had been there all the time.

"Lady Rosamund Painswicke, my daughter, has been very ill," Violet said, "The other day she spoke of you, Sir Anthony, and, although we usually do not agree on things she spoke a lot of sense and gave me a lot to think about. "

"Good for Aunt Rosamund," Edith said.

"Edith has accepted my proposal of marriage," Anthony said, "This time we _will_ wed with or without your blessing, Lord Grantham; I don't intend to let your daughter down again because I love her with all my heart and she just about saved my life,"

"How so?" Violet asked, Edith dug her nails into the palm of Anthony's hand and whispered, "Do they _really_ need to know about that?"

"I think they should know the whole truth, my darling. I am not afraid anymore,"

Edith nodded assent; she trusted him completely and loved him even more.

"After I jilted Edith I let myself go. I didn't eat and never went out. I was crippled emotionally because I had felt I had no choice that day but the guilt pained me. I knew that I would be turned away if I tried to see Edith and any letter I sent would be duly confiscated. One day about three months ago I was on the edge of a very dark mood and when Lady Edith dropped by I was literally holding a gun to my head."

There was a brief silence while Robert and Violet contemplated what he had said; Edith was rather glad she was not a mind-reader at that moment.

"I looked after him," Edith said, "We talked, and I mean _really _talked about everything we should have done before. That's why I arranged for cousin Isobel to cover for me with the charity work thing because I know that, if I was kept from Anthony's side, then he would regress into dark suicidal thoughts. I love Anthony and I always have. He will take the best care of me,"

"I can well believe that, Edith," Violet said gently. In truth the fact that Anthony had almost killed himself because he was not with Edith shocked her but their time together had clearly done the man good because he was exhibiting unprecedented confidence and was more than clear about what he wanted.

"Edith," Robert said, "I must apologise to you because you never had the time and attention from me that your sisters had so I failed to realise my little girl had grown up. I am really sorry also," he offered his hand to Anthony, "All I ever wanted was for Edith to be happy and I let my prejudices get in the way. I know now that, even if there were a thousand eligible husbands around Edith's age, she would not look at them,"

"No, I would not," Edith said, "Anthony is the man I want and I always have."

"Then let that be an end to it," Violet said, "Get married and look after each other,"

"You have my blessing this time, Anthony," Robert said.

"We only want a small intimate do," Anthony replied, "Fairly soon with just family and servants and maybe a few who were there before"

"You can have whatever you want," Robert said. "When were you thinking of getting married?"

"Well, we know that Edith has already arranged a society wedding in a month," Anthony said, pulling her close to him., "I also feel that we have wasted so much time when we could have been happy so within a couple of months would be manageable."

They both knew that, if Edith chanced to be pregnant as a result of the previous night, then two months would be before she began to show and awkward questions got asked. They had no intention of telling Violet and Robert that Edith was no longer pure.

"How is Aunt Rosamund?" Edith asked.

"She is much better now," Violet said, "she had severe complications and we almost lost her twice but the doctors think she will need a nurse for a time as she finds tasks such as bathing and dressing take considerable toll on her strength. Things are in hand with regard to employing a nurse and so with any luck she will be discharged in a couple of days. She is having x-rays this morning else you might well not have found us here,"

"You should come with us and see her," Robert said, "both of you I mean,"

"That would be nice," Edith said, "I haven't seen Aunt Rosamund since that day and it will be good news for her," she reached up and kissed Anthony on the cheek.

"She could do with some of that," Violet said.


	12. Chapter 12 Making amends

**Chapter 12**

Edith and Anthony stayed at Grantham Lodge for lunch; Edith sat next to Anthony and felt more relaxed. The conversation was amicable and then Violet said something that made Edith almost fall off her chair.

"I do admire the way you have adjusted, Sir Anthony; it must be so difficult not being able to do the things that you once enjoyed,"

Anthony flushed; compliments from Violet were rarer than four leaved clover.

"Thank you, Lady Grantham. When I was a child a good friend of mine fell off his horse and broke his right arm. I wasn't the best rider and I was so terrified the same would happen to me that I consciously started trying to do things left handed just in case It didn't in that way but after I was shot I remembered that and found it wasn't so difficult. I was determined not to be helpless; in case I found a woman who loved me. I would in fact have proposed to Edith at the garden party but then war broke out and my plans fell by the wayside,"

Edith of course knew that Anthony's hasty exit from the garden party had had nothing to do with the declaration but she chose not to elaborate.

Anthony went on, "I miss driving a lot but not necessarily shooting. I could just about use a service revolver; in fact Edith came along in the nick of time when I had considered doing just that, but not a rifle. But I saw enough shootings during the war so I don't miss it."

"I did get rather ratty when I first started needing a cane to get around," Violet confessed, "I thought, oh dear old age is coming,"

"Your mind is still pretty sharp, Lady Grantham," Anthony smiled.

They ate lunch and then Violet had a call put out for the chauffeur to take them to the hospital.

"I was so proud of you today," Edith whispered in Anthony's ear, "You were every bit the war hero, my darling,"

"Thank you," he whispered, "I am so looking forward to our wedding, my love,"

"So am I," she breathed.

OO

They walked through the hospital corridors that reeked of disinfectant and coal tar soap. When they got to Rosamund's room Violet said "I will go in first,"

She disappeared through the door. Rosamund had just woken up and clearly had not fancied lunch given the congealed remains on her plate.

"Hello Mama,"

"How are you feeling Rosamund dear?"

"A lot better and anxious to be out of this place,"

Violet sat down on the hard wooden chair beside her daughter's bed.

"Mama, have you thought anymore about what I said about Edith and you know who?"

Violet smiled. "Actually there has been rather a lot of action on that front behind the scenes so to speak,"

Rosamund sat up. "Really?"

Violet quickly told her what had happened that morning; leaving out details of Anthony's suicidal thoughts and related actions.

"Oh jolly good," Rosamund said, "Are they going to marry?"

"Yes," Violet said, "They think they have wasted enough precious time so will arrange things for a couple of month's time."

"That's quick; she's not with child is she?"

"Really Rosamund, Sir Anthony is a gentleman,"

OO

Edith went into the room next.

"Hello Aunt Rosamund, how are you feeling?"

"A lot better, my dear. I still have a dreadful cough but they think there will be no more complications so I should hopefully be able to go home in a couple of days. The annoying thing is that I will need a nurse because dressing and washing still take their toll on me physically. I can't walk very far without resting but I'm still here and I will be at your wedding, I promise. I think Robert is insisting I come back to Downton for a while,"

"That might be a good idea," Edith said, "Not that I am an expert," she held her aunt's hand.

"Oh Aunt Rosamund, I am just so happy and so in love,"

"I know my darling; I always knew Mama would see sense in the end because you and Sir Anthony obviously belong together,"

"I have always known that," Edith said.

OO

"Sir Anthony," Violet offered him her hand, "Would you be so good as to forgive a foolish old woman her prejudices?"

"Of course, Lady Grantham," Anthony said, "I do genuinely love Edith and I know I can be a good husband to her; in every sense."

They shook hands then Robert said,

"Anthony, may I apologise for the appalling way in which I have treated you. My pride was hurt as my old regiment wanted me as little more than a regimental mascot. I wanted to serve but didn't get a chance. I let that fester but you have proven that you are more than deserving of that VC and you need to live up to it rather than hide it in a drawer; especially since there are too many men who will never have a chance to wear theirs, I am sorry I was too blind to see that Edith had grown up. It's hard to learn to share a daughter's love; to accept that she loves a man other than her father. My mother and I did not want to see that you & Edith love each other and I thank god that she was able to get to you in time. What you said earlier was right; you would have been prevented from calling on or writing to her after that day but, as of now, you will be welcome at Downton anytime you wish to come,"

"Thank you; Lord Grantham," Anthony smiled as Robert awkwardly shook his left hand, "You will be welcome at Locksley too; after Edith and I are married,"

OO

Anthony walked into the room. Lady Rosamund, who he had met on a couple of previous occasions but never really spoken to, looked pale and wasted and this reminded Anthony how he had been when Edith had found him with the revolver against his head.

"Lady Painswicke," he said.

"Sir Anthony, I must say you look very well. My mother informs me you have been unwell,"

"Yes," Anthony said but sensing that she had not been told about Edith finding him about to kill himself did not elaborate. "But Edith is a wonderful, very loving and beautiful woman so we finally got to talk about the things that really mattered,"

"That's all that matters," Rosamund said, "I wish you the very best. Edith is a very fortunate woman,"

Anthony's throat tightened as he remembered that dark day,

"No Lady Painswicke, I am the lucky one. I owe Edith much more than anyone will ever know and I intend to spend the rest of my life making up to her for what I did."

"I think you've already done that, Sir Anthony," Rosamund said, "By simply telling her that you love her,"

"


	13. Chapter 13 Return home

**Chapter 13**

They remained at the hospital until visiting hours ended. Rosamund's doctor had said that Rosamund could be discharged in two day's time provided she had a nurse to help her. The pneumonia and its complications had meant that she found it difficult to walk far without getting breathless and simple tasks such as washing and dressing sapped her energy. The doctor could not say for sure whether or not these effects would be permanent but he seemed sure that she would benefit from an extended stay with family.

Robert returned to Grantham Lodge with Edith, Violet and Anthony where they had afternoon tea. Anthony suggested they went to the theatre but Robert & Violet declined. Edith and Anthony went to see _A Midsummer Night's Dream._ They thoroughly enjoyed the play and afterwards had a drink in the theatre bar before walking back to Grantham Lodge hand in hand.

"Well today went a lot better than I expected," Anthony said, "Perhaps it was because the element of surprise was on our side."

"I think they actually had been considering the idea of us and realised they were wrong," Edith replied "But, my darling baronet, I really was jolly proud of you. You stood your ground and you made our case."

Anthony fingered the medal pinned to his chest.

"You would not believe how confident I feel wearing this, Oh if only I had felt worthy of it last time then I would have stood up to them and we would have been married for months now. The truth was I never felt worthy of your love but the fact you saved me from committing a desperate act and have been by my side caring for me ever since has taught me different. I love you, so much,"

"I love you so much too," she said, "I wish we could go to a hotel and make love all night but it's best they not suspect we have made our relationship physical. But until we marry I shall long for you,"

"As will I for you, my love, but I promise you this, my love; on our wedding night we shall not sleep."

Edith nestled close to her fiancé.

"We will have to get you an engagement ring," he said, "I have kept Maud's but I would not expect you to wear a dead woman's ring,"

"Anthony, she loved you before me so I would be rather proud to wear it."

"Then you shall have it when we return to Locksley," he said kissing her cheek.

OO

They returned to Grantham Lodge. Robert was on the phone in the hallway. When he saw them he said, "Hold on for a moment, my darling," he covered the receiver. "Edith, your mother wants to speak with you," he turned to Anthony, "Come into the library and have a drink, dear chap,"

Robert and Anthony disappeared into the library and Edith picked up the phone.

"Mama,"

"Edith darling, your father has told me everything; I am so proud of you and so happy for you both. I always knew it would come right in the end."

"Well on that day you said that what didn't kill me would make me stronger and you were right. I have been able to restore Anthony to full health and confidence. I'm sorry I lied about the charity work but I knew that if I was kept from Anthony's side then he would not get better."

"Edith darling, a white lie for love is acceptable. You must bring Anthony over for dinner. Tom and Sybil are delighted for you, Mary too."

"Anthony and I will be coming home tomorrow," Edith said, "I think Papa and Granny are going to wait until Aunt Rosamund comes out of hospital on Friday and bring her back with them but Anthony and I have a wedding to plan so we want to get started right away."

"Well, I will let you get back to your fiancé," Cora said, "Edith darling; I really am pleased for you. Your father and I married against your grandmother's wishes but we proved her wrong because we have been happy so I know that you and Anthony will be too,"

"Thank you, Mama," Edith said, "Goodnight."

OO

She went into the library where Anthony and Robert were drinking brandy. Violet had retired to bed.

Robert offered Edith a drink and she asked for white wine since she disliked the taste of strong spirits. Robert pressed the glass into her hand .as Anthony kissed her cheek. They drank and played cards for a time. Anthony beat them all hands down.

. They then retired and Anthony drew her close for a long lingering goodnight kiss.

OO

The following morning Anthony and Edith had breakfast at Grantham Lodge. They announced their plans to return to Yorkshire; Anthony said that he wanted to take Edith to buy an engagement ring and Edith wanted to see her mother and sisters.

The chauffeur took them to the station. Frazer took their luggage with him into third class while Edith and Anthony settled in to a First Class compartment. Pretty soon they were on their way back north. Edith held Anthony close to her and he lay down and rested his head in her lap. She cradled him in her arms; stroking his injured hand and looked deep into those blue eyes.

OO

Perkins fetched them from York station and drove them to Locksley. Frazer went to put away his master's clothes and toiletries. Anthony went upstairs to his dressing room and returned moments later carrying a small velvet box which he handed to Edith. She opened it to find a white gold band set with a magnificent diamond.

"It's beautiful," she gasped.

He plucked the ring from its velvet setting and slipped it onto Edith's ring finger. It glinted in the light and fitted perfectly.

"You're mine now," he whispered, drawing her close to him.

"I always was, Anthony my darling."

"Never more so than when you came willingly to my bed," he murmured, pulling the shoulder of her dress slightly aside so he could kiss and nuzzle the hollow of her neck. Edith trembled violently.

"Make love to me, Anthony my darling," she murmured as he continued to caress her neck with his sensual mouth. He pulled her against him making her fully aware of his need for her. She was aware of her erect nipples straining against her dress.

"Not now," he whispered, "we need to restrain ourselves because when your father and grandmother return we will be constantly chaperoned in the run up to our wedding."

She sighed, "You're right of course," she remained held tight to his warm muscular body, "It's as well we said we wanted to get married soon. If I begot your heir the other night it would be obvious if we waited longer."

"If you have begotten my heir how are we going to explain the due date? Since that will mark conception as two months before our marriage."

"We can just say I got the dates wrong and it's premature; but since we are getting married it won't be a problem. I would not be the first lady to indulge in carnal relations before marriage."

"That's true," he said.

OO

They dressed formally and Edith drove them to Downton in her own car instructing Perkins to wait for a telephone call from Downton to come fetch his master.

Carson had been forewarned by Cora so he barely batted an eyelid when he saw Sir Anthony beside his mistress although Edith was pleased to note that he had registered Anthony's medal.

They followed him to the library.

"Lady Edith and Sir Anthony Strallan," he announced. They walked in.

Sybil embraced her sister and Tom awkwardly shook hands with Anthony. Mary was sitting in the corner playing checkers with Matthew. She smiled when she saw them. Cora embraced both Edith and Anthony.

They had dinner; a sombre quiet affair. Afterwards Mary approached Anthony.

"May I borrow him a moment?" she asked Edith.

"Certainly," Edith said.

Mary took Anthony's good arm and led him to one side.

"I owe you a huge apology, Sir Anthony," she flushed, "the day of the garden party I lied to you; I told you Edith had said something she didn't. Were it not for me you would have proposed that day and been happily married for years by now. Things between Matthew and I were not good at the time and I was jealous, that's all there is to it."

"I accept your apology, Lady Mary," Anthony said gravely, "We were all different people back then; anyone who claims the war did not change them is either lying or dead."

"Thank you," Mary said although she still did not look him in the eyes, "I hope we can get along for Edith's sake,"

"I shall certainly try," Anthony said.


	14. Chapter 14 With this ring I thee wed

**Chapter 14**

**Two and a half months later**

Downton was a hive of activity on the morning of Edith & Anthony's wedding. The preparations had been hurried, true but everything was how they had wanted it to be. The hallways and dining room were filled with flowers and the wedding presents were neatly arranged on a table.

They had had a tense couple of months getting everything ready in time but the day before Edith had let out a huge sigh of relief and collapsed in the crook of Anthony's good arm.

"I can't wait for tomorrow night," he whispered in her ear.

"Nor can I," she whispered "I love you darling Anthony,"

"I love you, my darling,"

He held her close and nuzzled her neck.

"I promise everything will be perfect tomorrow Edith darling; just as we both deserve. I am sorry I have kept you waiting so long,"

"But we know each other better now; and not just in that sense," she said, "I feel really close to you and I know I will be a good wife,"

"And I will be the best husband I can be; you will want for nothing as Lady Strallan. You will be the centre of my world."

"I think I already am," Edith smiled.

She kissed him goodbye as she went outside to drive home to Downton. Her smile was bright; knowing that the next time she came to Locksley it would be as his bride and she had no doubt at all that it would happen this time.

Dinner was a lively affair and everyone got pretty tipsy. Rosamund had been staying with them and was managing well enough. After dinner Edith sat with Sybil, Mary, Violet and Cora in the library.

"Well, I've been here before," Edith said, "Last time I was sure it would happen but this time I am very certain. I know Anthony will not let me down again; he is so much more at peace with himself now and has so much more confidence. I think I appreciate him more now than I ever have before as well as loving him more than I ever thought possible,"

"Are you having the same honeymoon?" Sybil asked.

"Yes, Italy and I'm so excited,"

"You won't be getting any sleep tomorrow," Sybil teased.

"I know that but I don't mind because finally I will belong to him and I simply can't wait."

"Do you need the birds and bees lecture?" Mary asked.

"No, I think I can work out what to do," Edith said with a smile because she already knew exactly what her beloved liked in bed and they had no idea of that."

"Won't you find the undressing part awkward?" Cora asked.

"No Mama, I won't because I intend to ask him to teach me and he is incredibly patient. I know our circumstances are different but definitely not insurmountable."

"I think that you will be fine," Cora said.

."I know I will," Edith smiled.

OO

Anthony took a long bath on the morning of his wedding and splashed himself with cologne. He had discovered a new brand; thanks to Matthew who claimed ladies found it irresistible. Edith could not get enough of the aroma. Clarkson had stayed over the previous night as he was Anthony's best man and Edith had chosen Isobel to be her maid of honour.

Frazer helped his master dress and pinned the VC to Anthony's morning suit.

"Lady Edith is a very lucky woman, Sir," he said.

"I've kept her waiting long enough but I appreciate her far more than I did before because she has been an absolute rock these last few months. Without her..."

"I know, Sir," Frazer smiled, "I would imagine tha won't need me tonight,"

"No, I'll have a beautiful bride to undress me tonight," Anthony smiled.

OO

Edith descended the stairs in her wedding dress. Robert gasped when he saw her; he had never known Edith look as beautiful as she did today. Tom stood beside him.

"Will I do Tom?" Edith asked.

"Very nicely," Tom said. "I'm really glad you and Sir Anthony have worked things out."

"So am I," Edith smiled.

They went out to the car. Edith had asked Tom if he would drive to Downton church and he had been honoured. He opened the door for her and she settled herself in the back seat with Robert beside her.

"Are you ready Edith?" Robert asked.

"I've been ready for this day for so long, Papa," Edith kissed him, "Thank you for accepting Anthony; he's so much better now. If you'd seen how I found him that day..." she shivered at the memory.

"I have two wonderful sons-in-'law already," Robert said, "So the third will be a complete set, I really am so proud of you, Edith. Proud of the beautiful woman you have become and proud that you never gave up on the man you love. I am just sorry that I haven't said those words to you much over the years but I am proud of you and I do love you so very much."

Edith dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief.

"Oh Papa, I love you too,"

"I'll be a very proud man to share your love with Anthony,"

OO

Anthony and Dr Clarkson stood at the front of the church. Anthony was anxious but this time he knew it would be alright. He sensed that Travis was concerned about a repeat performance but knew his worry was needless.

Violet and Rosamund came over.

"Just to wish you the very best," Violet said, "You need never again worry that you aren't good enough because Edith chose you as well as looking after you and in my book that makes you a perfect match. She won't love another man while you draw breath but I didn't want to see that so once again I'm sorry,"

"Mama doesn't apologise that often," Rosamund said, "So I would make the most of it if I were you,"

"I certainly will, Lady Painswicke," Anthony smiled, "and I think my beautiful bride is about to appear,"

Violet and Rosamund returned to their seats alongside Cora, Sybil, Mary and Matthew.

Anthony turned as the organ started up and shielded his eyes from the sun with his good hand.

Edith almost glided up the aisle on her father's arm; she looked radiantly beautiful with her bright eyes and beautiful smile. They reached the altar and he smiled at her. She smiled back and whispered "I love you, Sir Anthony Strallan,"

"I love you too," he whispered as he blinked tears from his eyes.

"Dearly beloved," Travis said.

This time the ceremony was flawless; they spoke their vows loudly and clearly, their voices echoing. Anthony never took his eyes off her as he slipped the ring onto her finger. Clarkson assisted with this by holding Edith's hand as Anthony was unable to do both simultaneously.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," Travis said; a definite hint of relief in his voice.

Lady Edith Strallan walked out of Downton church with her husband's good arm around her waist. They posed for photos but Edith knew that no sepia photo would ever do justice to Anthony's beautiful blue eyes.

"You look beautiful," he murmured into her ear, "I look forward to having you all to myself later, Lady Strallan,"

"Anthony, behave," she teased.

The wedding party was beautiful; everything that they had dreamt it would be. Anthony could not dance properly but he moved around with his arm around his wife. His eyes constantly filled with tears whenever anyone congratulated them because it was finally dawning on him that Edith was his at last and he knew that he would never again doubt himself because she had chosen him a long time ago; chosen him and fought for the right to love him.

They were driven back to Locksley and he lifted her bodily with his strong left arm and stepped over the threshold.

"Welcome home, Lady Strallan," he whispered. "You have no idea how long I have waited to say that,"

She put her arms around him and kissed him on the lips and he responded.

They sat in the library and drank wine. Edith sat on his lap and looked into his eyes.

He was crying.

"Oh Edith, you have no idea how lucky I feel tonight and I really am going to show you just what you mean to me tonight. I finally got the most beautiful of Lord Grantham's daughters as my wife. Thank you for my life, my darling. Thank you for everything,"

She pressed close to him.

"You're welcome because I want to thank you too, for loving me and for letting me help you, for the moments we have shared and will share in future. I want to give you an heir so I think we should go and get started,"

"Oh god I wish I could carry you to bed, my darling but I'll race you there instead,"

"That sounds like a fair compromise," Edith said,


	15. Chapter 15 With my body I thee worship

**Chapter 15**

**A/N: Rating is definitely M here for the Strallan wedding night. Not suitable for those of a prudish nature or persons below 18.**

Anthony chased his wife upstairs and when they reached the top they were laughing.

He lifted her with his left arm and carried her into their room. Mrs Grayling, the housekeeper, had put candles around the room and scattered rose petals on the covers. Tears came to Edith's eyes.

"Oh Anthony, that's so romantic,"

"Nothing but the best for my beautiful loving Lady Strallan," he said, tears filling his eyes, "I feel I have been waiting my whole life for tonight, my beloved, I warn you that I am likely to shed a few tears this evening because I feel like I am having a beautiful dream and will wake up any moment back on that day; I don't mean the last wedding day either." He sat on the bed and she sat next to him; holding him close to her warm body.

"Anthony darling; this is real, I promise, and I am so looking forward to showing my gorgeous wonderful husband how much he means to me."

"Oh Edith darling; I still can't believe you're my wife. I never thought any woman would love me enough to effectively fight her family for the right to love me,"

"You are incredibly special, Sir Anthony Strallan," she nuzzled his chest, "For me it was worth every tear shed, every bit of pain and every second apart just to be at this point in time."

"It was worth all that for me too,"

"Let's make love, Anthony," she murmured, "I ache in every part of my body for your touch,"

She undressed him slowly and gently; her eyes open wide as she took in his naked beauty, his handsome sculpted body. She went behind him and kissed his scarred shoulder, lovingly caressing it with her lips until he began to tremble and shake with sobs.

"I love you," he murmured softly, "God I love you so very much,"

She pressed close to him and he claimed her mouth so hard it took their breath away. She responded to his kiss which deepened until it became incredibly hungry yet sensual as his mouth caressed her throat and nibbled her ear lobe. When the kiss broke they were both trembling.

"Oh Edith," he moaned softly, "Kiss my neck, you know where,"

Her lips brushed against the hollow of his neck as she began licking and kissing him. He shivered.

"I wish I could undress you," he whispered,

"You can," she smiled, "I had it designed especially; so you can just slide it off my shoulders, no fixtures or fastenings,"

He gently slid the silk off first one shoulder then the other and his eyes widened as the dress slid down her body; revealing her naked beauty as she stepped out of it. He had got into bed and pulled the coverlet back.

"Come to bed, Lady Strallan," his voice sounded authoritative; deep and resonating.

She joined him.

"I can't disobey my husband can I," she purred.

"Well if you do I might have to spank you, Lady Strallan"

"You wouldn't dare!" Edith feigned shock.

"Wouldn't I? Well you'd have to wait and see," they were both shaking with laughter.

He began to pleasure her breasts with his mouth, gently biting the nipples and licking sensuously. She began to moan softly as he descended to her sex and his mouth whipped her into lather as he sucked her engorged clitoris sending tidal waves of desire to consume her body. She writhed in ecstasy, low husky moans emanating from her throat. He continued to pleasure her until his back ached.

He moved back up her body and began to cover her face and throat in hot kisses which made her moan softly, "Oh Anthony, I do love you,"

"I love you too," he breathed, looking into her beautiful doe brown eyes.

Their bodies became one as he thrust deep inside her wet space; her hands roamed across his back and shoulders, gently caressing the raised scars although she knew he could not feel it. She pushed up against him until they were both sweat slicked and panting, their breathing ragged from exertion. Edith kissed and nuzzled his neck; closing her eyes as she inhaled deeply. She was intoxicated by his scent and that lovely new cologne heightened his desirability; he smelt musky and tasted wonderful as she licked his skin', which was salty with sweat.

She slowed her pace; wanting to prolong the experience of being at one with him. He slowed too as they began kissing and caressing ardently. Anthony was in his element; he was content and knew that she would be there when he woke in the morning, if they slept at all. He felt very close to and protective of her and he knew she was protective of him too.

A couple of hours later their pace increased again and they both felt like they were ascending a peak and hanging on the edge before Anthony cried out in exalted triumph as he released his love inside her body.

"Oh my god, Edith I love you, I really love you,"

Moments later she fell over the peak as a warm jet trickled from inside her mingling with his as she cried out.

"Oh god Anthony, I love you, I really love you,"

For a moment he lay on top of her to catch his breath before moving and taking her into the crook of his left arm. They were both crying long before their ragged breathing and accelerated pulse rates returned to normal.

"Now I know I'm not dreaming," he said, "That was a nice reminder of my new reality. Thank you, my beloved,"

She was crying hard and he held her close to him, gently soothing her.

"Edith darling, have I hurt or upset you?""

"No, I'm just relieved that you are here, that we are together as we always should have been," she looked into his eyes, "It's just, well that day still haunts me. I don't dream about it but I often think of it. The thought I could have lost you...well it frightens me,"

"I can understand that, my love," he whispered, "I often think about it myself but I promise you, hand on heart, that I will never need to be that low again because I now have you and we have the rest of our lives together to enjoy,"

"I love you, Anthony and I think I have just had the most beautiful experience of my life, you are a wonderful tender lover and I feel so content,"

"I feel complete, Edith," he whispered, "The only thing that will make me more complete is when you can hold my heir in your arms,"

"Well, I think we have made a good start on that score," she smiled."In fact we have a head start,"

"We certainly have," he said as they drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.


	16. Chapter 16 And all my worldly goods

**Chapter 16**

**Four months later**

It was the last day of Edith & Anthony's honeymoon; they had had a wonderful time in Italy. They had visited museums and art galleries, dined out, been to the opera, as well as a couple of classical concerts, and spent the warm evenings wrapped in each other's embrace. The blue skies and warm sun made them both extremely amorous so they spent long hours making love and simply enjoying each other. The gloom had finally lifted although sometimes, which Edith sensed happened more often than Anthony let her know, she found him staring into space and guessed he was thinking about the day he had almost killed himself. In moments like this she would simply put her arms around him and whisper that she loved him then he would smile, take her hand and be jolly again.

The arrival of Edith's monthly visitor a couple of weeks after they first made love had both relieved and disappointed her; relieved because it meant she would not have to explain a child conceived out of wedlock but disappointed her because she wanted to have Anthony's baby.

He had kissed and consoled her but with every monthly visit after their wedding she grew increasingly more despondent. Anthony was sweet to her; he just reminded her that trying just that little bit harder would be no hardship. She felt so warm and secure wrapped in his good arm. She had had to remain covered up even in the warm Italian weather because her skin tone made her more liable to burn but Anthony had acquired a light tan which really accentuated the colour of his eyes and Edith had insisted he buy a couple of blue silk shirts to accentuate how gorgeous he was. She liked the feel of the silk against her bare skin but not as much as she loved the feel of his soft skin against hers.

They lay in their bed, their breathing ragged and their skin sweaty after making love in the dawn light before it got too hot. Edith was blissfully content as her husband nuzzled her bare shoulder and whispered to her

"In the last few months you have become more important to me than ever, my darling. When I feel the gloom of the past threatening to descend on my mind again your love drives it away."

The last few mornings Edith had been sick and Anthony had been wonderful. He had sat with her in the bathroom and poured her water to wash away the taste. He had comforted her and held her close.

"I really hope it will be the news we want this time," he whispered.

"So do I," she kissed him, "You have no idea how much I want to carry your baby,"

"Edith darling: when we get home we will go and see Dr Clarkson. Let's just enjoy our last day here,"

They had breakfast together in their hotel; coffee and bread rolls. Then they went for a long walk. They held hands as they stood on the Bridge of Sighs and looked out over the canals and stone buildings with pure wonder. Anthony let go of her hand and drew her close to him instead and she sighed deeply as she leaned close to him. He was wearing one of his new silk shirts so he felt wonderful. Edith always smiled when ladies flashed him a smile; as if to say, "He's mine, you can't have him," and she would hold up her left hand so her golden wedding band caught the sun as if to further illustrate the point, never mind the fact that Anthony, while polite, made it clear that she was the only one he wanted.

The following day they boarded the _Orient Express_ in order to return home.

The journey seemed long and arduous but Edith slept for a while and felt much refreshed when she awoke. Anthony held her close and told her once again how much he loved her and what she meant to him and she echoed that by telling him the same.

Late the following evening, after a choppy channel crossing and a long train journey north they were met at York Station by Perkins. Edith felt tears prick her eyes when they came in sight of Locksley. Anthony led her inside and they had a drink before he dismissed the servants for the night saying that Lady Strallan needed to rest. She still felt a pleasant shiver run down her back when he called her by his name.

The following morning her sickness was particularly volatile which worried Anthony. He sat with her in the bathroom, giving her peppermint flavoured water to take away the acrid bitter taste, but she felt weak and listless so he steered her back to bed and when the footman came with their morning tea Anthony told him to have Johnson telephone for Dr Clarkson. Anthony had dressed but he lay on the bed with her and gently wiped her mouth with a damp cloth.

"Anthony, what is wrong with me?" her voice was strained, panicked, "If it is morning sickness as we suspect then surely it should have passed by now?"

"I'm not a doctor my darling," he whispered, "but Dr Clarkson will know. I will get him to come directly he arrives,"

"Please don't leave me,"

"Alright my beloved, I will stay right here,"

Johnson brought Dr Clarkson upstairs and tapped on the door.

"Dr Clarkson to see you Sir,"

Clarkson came in and Anthony moved to a bedside chair so as to be out of the way but where Edith could still see him.

He examined her carefully.

"You're definitely pregnant, Lady Strallan," he said, "Almost four months along so you will show soon. I can give you a herbal tablet for the sickness and I will keep a close eye on you,"

"Thank you doctor," Edith breathed, "But why do I feel so weak"

"You have been in a hot climate, Lady Strallan and you have had a long journey home. You are readjusting to your normal life but in a day or so you will be fine. You can call me if you are at all worried."

"Thank you doctor," Anthony said

OO

By late morning Edith felt considerably better so she bathed. The hot water made her feel considerably more alive and Anthony smiled as she descended the stairs. He put his arm around her and kissed her passionately. He had her lie on the library sofa and sat beside her, holding her hand tightly.

"Oh Anthony," her bright smile lit her face, "I'm finally carrying your heir and I am so incredibly happy,"

"So am, I," he breathed, "and I'm really going to look after you."

Edith knew that Maud, the first Lady Strallan, had had a couple of miscarriages before coming to full term with the son whose birth had killed them both so she understood her husband's anxiety. She stroked his hand.

"Anthony darling, I'm younger and haven't been damaged by miscarriage. I have a feeling I will be fine,"

"I know my darling and I am so incredibly delighted by the news,"

They shared a deep tender kiss.

OO

A couple of days later they went to Downton for dinner. Anthony did not seem at all nervous which Edith was pleased to see as months ago he had found dinners at Downton to mean trepidation and anxiety owing to his acute lack of confidence. This time was different because he had his VC on his jacket and he was full of joy and elation as he planned to announce Edith's pregnancy that evening. He no longer found her family an ordeal because he was finally accepted among them.

"I can't wait to hear Carson announce us as Sir Anthony and Lady Strallan," Edith breathed. "I've waited so long for that moment because it's a public announcement that we are two hearts beating as one."

"Well, three given the present circumstances," Anthony laughed.

Perkins parked near the house and opened the door for them to alight.

Edith & Anthony knocked on the door and Carson let them in.

They followed him to the library.

"Sir Anthony & Lady Strallan," Carson announced.

They walked into the room, Edith's arm through her husband's.

"Good evening," Violet said, "You're looking incredibly well, both of you."

"Thank you, Lady Grantham," Anthony said

Rosamund was looking much better as well; she lacked the pallor of the last time they had seen her and she confirmed that she was able to move a lot better and her terrible cough had gone.

Edith and Anthony circulated a bit before Carson came to inform them that dinner was about to be served. They filed into the dining room and Edith sat beside her husband.

After the soup Cora looked right at them.

"Spill," she said, "you are both almost walking on air this evening so we want to know your secret,"

Anthony smiled, "Well Lady Grantham, it could be something to do with the fact that, only two short days ago Dr Clarkson confirmed that my beautiful wife is pregnant and I could not be more delighted, although anxious after the last time,"

"Congratulations," Violet said, "It is long overdue, Sir Anthony,"

"I won't argue with you there, Lady Grantham," Anthony smiled, "Rest assured I shall be taking the best care of Edith until the baby comes,"

"How far along are you?" Sybil asked.

"Nearly four months," Edith smiled.

The dinner party went on until quite late and everyone queued to offer them their best wishes and congratulations.


	17. Chapter 17 Peace at last

**Chapter 17**

**Five months later**

Anthony had taken the greatest care of Edith during her pregnancy; he let her sleep in when she felt tired. He forbade her to drive, which Edith didn't mind because she was already in the only place she wanted to be. He also took her on short walks around the estate and constantly surprised her with flowers and gifts. Edith had never felt so loved or appreciated. In the evenings they relaxed in the library; she lying with her head in his lap so she could look up into his lovely handsome face which still carried the legacy of a tan. He would smile as he placed his good hand on her swollen belly and felt his heir kick.

"I can't wait to meet him or her," he whispered.

"Nor can I," Edith breathed, "I can see a little boy with blonde hair and enormous blue eyes like his father."

"I see a little girl with coppery hair and enormous doe brown eyes like her mother," he replied.

"Well only one of us will get our wish but the child will be so loved whatever its sex," Edith said.

"I know," he gently traced her cheek with his fingertips, "We have shared quite a journey together haven't we my love?"

"Yes, from bad to painfully heart-breaking to pure love and contentment," she lifted his good hand to her lips and kissed it.

"I love you, my beloved Lady Strallan," he whispered, "You give me confidence and, strength, not to mention that your love and loyalty is second to none,"

"You are worthy of all that my darling; I would not throw my love away on a man who did not deserve it and was not worthy. Every moment we spend together males me love you even more. Your confidence has improved so much and I am very proud of you for that but you are worth even more than you think. Our child will have a really good role model and will grow up so proud that he or she has you for a father,"

Anthony blinked away tears from his blue eyes.

"I'm tired," Edith whispered, "I know it's not late but I need to rest,"

He took her land and led her upstairs. She undressed them quickly and they got into bed. Anthony lay on his right side so he could keep his left arm around her. She lay with her back to him as this was more comfortable for her and he laid his right arm across her swollen belly.

"Goodnight my love," he whispered, "You will never know just what a difference your love has made to my life."

"You have made a difference to me too, Anthony darling. You make me feel valued and you look after me. I'm not sorry in a way that you had to go through those dark times because it has made me appreciate you more but I will never understand how bad it must have been,"

"It feels like a long time ago now, darling Edith,"

They shared a deep tender kiss and she held him tightly.

OO

Ten days later Robert, Cora, Sybil, Tom and Violet came to visit. Mary & Mathew had taken Isobel to see a play in York and were staying overnight.

Shortly after dinner Edith felt a twinge, then another and she grasped her husband's good hand.

"Anthony darling, call Dr Clarkson. The baby is coming,"

Anthony went to make the call while Sybil and Cora helped Edith upstairs to her own bedroom and undressed her. The housekeeper fetched towels and warm water.

Anthony paced the library floor; anxiety and fear evident in every inch of his face.

"Please god," he murmured, "Don't take her from me too,"

Violet put her hand on his good arm.

"Sir Anthony, it will be fine, Edith is not scarred by miscarriages and she is young and fit. I know you are anxious but Dr Clarkson will be here soon and Cora and Sybil will look after her until then."

"Thank you, Lady Grantham but I won't be able to relax until I know that they both made it. Lightning could surely not be so cruel to me again could it because she is my last chance and I could not live without her,"

Robert pressed a tumbler of whisky into his son-in-law's good hand and Anthony smiled gratefully.

Dr Clarkson arrived moments later and the housekeeper showed him up to Edith's room.

"Look after Sir Anthony, Lord Grantham," Clarkson whispered, "I can feel the anxiety radiating from him even from this distance,"

"Of course I will," Robert said.

The hours passed and Anthony paced. Tom and Robert did their best to keep his mind off what was happening upstairs.

"Have you thought of any names yet?" Violet asked.

"We're thinking Maud Elizabeth for a girl and Anthony Jonathan for a boy," Anthony said, "but as long as the child is healthy we have no preference to gender,"

Tom put his hand on Anthony's shoulder,

"I know I haven't lost a wife and child but I can relate to the anxiety of waiting,"

"Rosamund took nearly twenty-four hours to appear," Violet said, "She has been late for everything ever since,"

OO

"Come on Edith," Cora said gently, "Squeeze my hand. I know it hurts but it will be so worth it."

"It will make Anthony's dreams come true," Edith gasped.

"Don't talk," Cora said, "Save your energy my darling,"

"I can see the head," Clarkson announced, "I need you to push, Lady Strallan. Push as hard as you can,"

Edith pushed hard,

"Once more," Clarkson encouraged. "You're nearly there,"

Edith pushed and Sir Anthony Strallan's heir emerged followed a rush of sticky afterbirth. Clarkson clamped and cut the cord as the infant began to cry.

Sybil wrapped the baby in a blanket and placed him at Edith's breast.

"Me and Mary have a nephew," she said, "Congratulations,"

Edith was besotted with the babe in her arms. Clarkson stitched a tear and Cora cleaned her daughter up.

"He's so beautiful," she whispered, "Hello Anthony Jonathan Strallan,"

"Is Jonathan Anthony's middle name?" Cora asked.

"No, his is Philip," Edith replied, "Jonathan was his father,"

"Well, I think we should go and give Anthony the news," Clarkson said.

All eyes focused on him as he descended the stairs and entered the library. Anthony was quite pale.

"You have a son, Sir Anthony," Clarkson said, "he is well and there were no complications. Lady Strallan is well albeit tired,"

Tears of joy flooded Anthony's face.

OO

Late that night, well it was more the early hours of the following morning, Anthony squeezed into bed with his wife as she was too tired to move. He held his son in the crook of his good arm.

"He's beautiful," he breathed, "Thank you my darling; you have made me complete and all my dreams have finally come true. You are the answer to every good prayer I ever said."

"It was a true privilege to bear the child of my beloved war hero husband," Edith replied. "I need you so much,"

Little Anthony Jonathan Strallan was christened three months later and behaved beautifully. Physically he was a miniature version of his father.

That night after the celebrations the baby was put to bed so Edith and Anthony relaxed.

"Can I whisk you off to bed and show you how much I adore you?" Anthony whispered in his wife's ear.

Hours later they lay together, sweating and their breathing ragged. Anthony's lovemaking had been very passionate and Edith had loved it.

"I love you," he breathed.

"I love you too, Anthony darling,"

Edith fell asleep and Anthony cradled her in his good arm. Finally he had everything he could ever have wanted or needed and he felt it was no less than they deserved. At last the ghosts of his past were gone; they had vanished with baby Anthony's first cry and he felt true peace at long last.


End file.
